Hadley's 1st Birthday Party, and 1 year old survey!

For Makena's first birthday we had a theme and I planned for a long time and made everything by hand. She loved Sesame Street, so it was easy to pick that theme and run with it! Also, I had more time to sit at home and design invitations, get them printed, MAKE ENVELOPES, address them, and send them in the good old mail.

Hadley, being baby #2, is getting a very different life experience than her big sister got. Namely, a 1st birthday party that we kind of threw together. Everyone says it doesn't matter, that she's only a year old, blah blah blah. People also say there's no point in bringing a 2 year old to Disneyland because they'll never remember it anyway. But that doesn't make any sense to me. Just because someone won't remember something doesn't mean you shouldn't do it!! The point of doing fun stuff is to enjoy it in the moment. It's not like we spend the first couple of years with babies and refuse to expose them to anything fun, all because "they'll never remember it." We also don't treat babies horribly in the name of them not remembering it. Child abuse is still child abuse, even when the child is too young to have the memory of it.

So yeah, I was annoyed with myself and frustrated that we didn't get to do anything I wanted for Hadley's birthday. I also just really love planning parties and was disappointed that all we could come up with for this was a bunch of generic 1st birthday supplies we bought a few months back on super duper clearance, and raspberries, which are one of Hadley's favorite foods.

*Here's the dream sequence where I describe the party I really WISH we could have thrown for her.*

A couple hours at an indoor play gym, for her to climb and run all over in a nice soft place, followed by lunch and watching dogs playing at a dog park.

Okay, maybe that isn't too elaborate, but it would have involved her favorite things! Those gym play parties are stupid expensive though, so we just had her party at Makena's preschool, which is one of Hadley's favorite places anyway. And since it was raining we got to go inside a bit and play in a little ball pit and crawl around on some tumbling mats. I hardly took any photos the whole day.

I made pink raspberry cupcakes with chocolate cream cheese frosting. The cupcake recipe called for beets to color the cupcakes pink. I added much less than it said, but they still tasted too beet-y for my liking and I was worried they were ruined. So I filled them with raspberry preserves and that helped a lot, and so did the delicious frosting! I also made chocolate cupcakes and raspberry buttercream. I wanted Hadley's cake to have pink frosting, it was a cute little cake that I filled with fresh raspberries. All she wanted was to eat the raspberries. :)

She liked it when we all sang to her, and even clapped and laughed a bit when we sang "Happy birthday dear Hadley!" It was adorable.

After cake it was time for presents! She was getting overwhelmed a bit and ready for a nap at this point, but she did enjoy seeing everything. The hit was definitely the jumping barking little dog from Elizabeth!! As her weekly babysitter she sure knew the perfect gift! More on her later, if I ever get around to writing about how I leave my baby every single week with a babysitter...

I really can't believe how fast that year went by. I said the same with Makena, but with baby #2 it's even quicker, which seems absolutely impossible.

We also celebrated on the day of her actual birthday. Pam made pumpkin cupcakes with maple cream cheese frosting, and in the morning we did her birthday ring.

Starting a new tradition for Hadley! Originating in Germany, the birthday ring (or, Geburtstagskranz) is an "ornate wooden ring, typically with 12 holes to represent each year of childhood, in which candles are lit on each birthday. At sunrise the candles are lit, and they stay lit all day as family members each say a wish for the child's upcomming year." 

We mixed in a bit of the Waldorf tradition too, and added a photo from her birth and a water drop ornament because of her love of water. As the years go on we will fill up the ring with candles and tokens and look back on who she was in previous years.

Then we went to Play! Los Altos, and met up with friends and then had pizza and cupcakes.

She loved walking up and down the little stairs and bringing balls up there with her.

At 1 year old Hadley is so sweet and silly. She loves to eat beans, berries, and broccoli. She also loves bath time! She dances whenever she hears music, and loves spinning and walking around in circles and laughing. She has the most intense climbing need that I've ever seen in a kid. If there is something to stand on, she will figure out how to get up there. She's determined! She absolutely adores Makena, but then again who doesn't!? She snuggles up so sweetly and will rest her head on my shoulder and rub/pat my back. She's goofy and funny and adorable. She makes us laugh all the time!

I'm so thankful that she's in our lives. She is the icing on the cake! I love watching how much she loves Makena, and seeing how much Makena loves her little sister. I can't wait to see more of her personality come out!
 
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1 YEAR OLD PARENT SURVEY

DEVELOPMENT

Does your child know her name more than 75% of the time? She is really good at ignoring us when we call her name, but she does know it!
wave, clap, or point- She doesn't point, but she does wave and clap!
say any words- she says "uh-oh!" "thank you!" "mamamama" (mostly when she wants milk) and maybe "cat" and a few others. 
understand simple directions- Hmm, I'm not sure. She will give me a toy in her hands if I ask for it. But other than that she doesn't really seem to understand. Like if I said "Go get a book" or "sit on the chair" she wouldn't do it.
"cruise" on furniture or walk- She started walking at 9 months old.
look for dropped objects- Yes.
have temper tantrums- No. She will sometimes fight diaper changes, but that's about it.
have a high needs temperament? No. She's very easy going!
Do your read to your child for 20 minutes day- No, I should be better at that!!

DIET

Do you have concerns about your child diet? No, she eats anything and loves healthy whole foods like beans, broccoli, peas, berries, etc.
What kind of milk does your child drink? My breastmilk.
How many ounces of juice does your child get a day? None. 
Sippy cup, bottle, or regular cup? Sometimes she takes a couple sips from a straw cup or regular cup.
Feed self with fingers? Yes, and she likes to try and use utensils.

DENTAL HEALTH

Do you brush your child't teeth? We have a few times, she's getting a new toothbrush for Christmas and we will make it a habit! 
With water? Yes, only water.

SAFETY

Has your child had any injuries this past year? Nothing serious, just regular falls and stuff.
My child's car seat faces forwards or backwards? Backwards, and it will stay that was as long as possible.
Is your child's crib mattress set to its lowest level? No crib.
Is there a swimming pool at or near your home? Yes, behind a gate.
Have you checked the batteries in your smoke detectors and carbon monoxide monitors in the last 6 months? Yes.

SLEEP

Do you have concerns about your child's sleep? No.
Where does your child sleep? In bed with me, or while I hold her.
Does your child sleep through the night? Mostly I think so, as long as I'm laying next to her.
How many naps does your child take? About 1 or 2 a day. Usually around 11am for a little less than an hour, then again around 3-4. But if her morning nap was pushed back or longer than normal she isn't ready for her 2nd nap until 5 or 6, and by then it's too late so she will do 1 nap those days.
Does your child snore? No

HEALTH OF FAMILY

Who lives with your child? Her moms and big sister.
Are there any marital, financial or employment stresses at home? Of course!
Are you separated, divorced, or in the process? No.
How is your health? Fine.
How is your spouse or partner's health? Fine.
Do you work outside your home? Very occasionally.
If so, what is your occupation? Babysitter.
Does your spouse or partner work outside your home? Yes.
If so, what is their occupation? Preschool teacher, soccer coach, babysitter.
Do you have help with childcare? On the few occasions we need, yes.
Are you involved with playgroups? No.
Does anyone in your house smoke? No!!
Does anyone in your house have issues with alcohol or drugs? No!
Do you feel safe in your own home? Yes.

364 Days Old

Hadley will be 1 tomorrow.

Ever since Makena was born the years go by so quickly, but this last one really flew by!

Wasn't I just pregnant? Wasn't she just a baby who laid on her blanket while Makena asked when she would be big enough to play with? Wasn't she just sitting and learning how to put toys in her mouth?

And in the blink of an eye she's a walking little person.

She is sweet, and loving, and cuddly. She rests her head on your chest and just reconnects for a bit.

She loves her sister and mamas. She gives Makena hugs, and giggles and shrieks with joy when they chase each other. Makena wrote this note on Hadley's behalf. It says "Oooo Waaa by Hadley" lol.

She is determined, and adventurous, and clever. She carried this step stool over to the couch to climb up. If there isn't a way for her to get up onto something, she figures out a way to do it herself!

She brings so much joy to all of us. She's content to play and explore and watch Makena. She's easy-going. She loves to dance. She gets very excited about going outside, when the front door is open she makes a beeline for it. Anywhere we are, she heads towards the door! As I carry her to the car she wiggles and squeals with happiness. She just loves to go!

Today Makena went to breakfast at Grandmo's house, they baked and did crafts for Thanksgiving. Then Pam picked her up and took her to babysit with her, so it's been just Hadley and I at home all day.

This morning she woke at 7, and for breakfast ate scrambled eggs and raspberries and bits of my English muffin. She napped from 10-11 in my lap, then we played, read books, and I cleaned up while she sat in her high chair and ate lunch. Black beans, carrots, peas, and a slice of apple and a few crackers. She cried while I vacuumed, sometimes she cries, sometimes she laughs! She's silly like that. Fell asleep for another nap at 3, woke up at 4:30. Sometimes she skips that afternoon nap, but then evenings are really tough since she's tired and wants to sleep at like 5.

But she napped in my lap, and we just rocked and rocked. And I looked at her beautiful face, this human that my body grew and birthed.

She's exactly what I wanted. I feel like I hit the jackpot twice.

Breastfeeding.

Makena asked me the other day why some babies drink from bottles. I told her there are lots of reasons. Sometimes moms pump their milk like she's seen me do, sometimes moms bodies can't make enough milk, sometimes moms have to take a kind of medicine that makes their milk not healthy for a baby, sometimes moms choose not to breastfeed, sometimes the baby doesn't have a mom.

Then she asked how they get milk if the baby doesn't get breastmilk, and I realized she had no idea what formula was. So I explained what it is (she asked if you mix breastmilk into the powder) and also talked about donor milk and wet nurses and all the ways babies get fed.

I tried to make it seem very nonchalant, but when she asked if formula was healthy I paused for a second. I didn't want her to think that it's not healthy, I definitely don't want her thinking there is anything negative about it, but at the same time I was uncomfortable saying it's perfectly healthy.

I said something about it being a acceptable alternative for people who need it, and then I turned it back onto me. I told her that I love breastfeeding and to me it's important to only feed my babies breastmilk. I told her that we don't drink cow's milk because I don't think humans need to drink cow breastmilk, since it's designed for baby cows to nurse. I reminded her that formula is usually made with cow's milk, or soy, and that I try to avoid that as well. I explained that in an emergency, if it's a very young infant that needs milk, of course it's most important to feed the baby whatever milk is available, even if it's formula. But I also told her that if something happened to me and I couldn't make milk anymore, that I'd want to use donated breastmilk. I said there are women who made extra milk, and give it to babies who need it. Then I told her that when I was a baby I nursed from my mom's friend when she babysat me, just like my mom nursed her friend's baby when she babysat her.

Breastfeeding was never one of many options for me. It was THE ONLY option. I never thought for a split second that I wouldn't breastfeed my babies some day. I grew up seeing my mom nurse my baby brother, I used to pretend to nurse him myself, and I just assumed that's what moms do. I remember years ago in New York, Pam and I were near Rockefeller Center and somehow the topic of breastfeeding came up. This was probably around 2003/2004, at least 5 years before I was even pregnant. She said she didn't know if she had been breastfed, and that was absolutely crazy to me. I had her call her mom right then as we walked down the sidewalk.

As I was initially answering Makena's questions, I felt like it was crucial for me to allow space for her future situation. What if she adopts a baby some day, and wants to use formula? What if she can't breastfeed her biological child even though she desperately longs to? I hope that she knows that whatever she decides I would support. I think it's most important that baby is fed, and that mom is comfortable with however that happens. My heart aches for women who struggle to breastfeed, just like women who suffer multiple miscarriages and fertility problems. It must feel beyond horrible to think your own body is betraying you. So I'm very glad there are viable options for women who need them!

But I absolutely hope that one day she chooses to be a mother and gets to experience the beauty of a wonderful nursing relationship. There is just know way to understand that kind of love until you do it, and I hope she cuddles her newborn and marvels at that little one and knows how I felt (feel!) about her.

September and Camping with Preschool!

In early September we went to Sunset State Beach for a weekend camping trip! About 15 other families from preschool went too, and we coordinated months ago to book sites in the same section. It was so awesome to let the kids run free between sites, knowing that there were lots of friendly adults keeping their eyes out. We all went to the beach and then had a big potluck. I tried to keep Hadley out of the dirt but eventually let her go for it.

My mom came for the potluck dinner one night. Makena collected a huge amount of sand dollars at the beach and brought them back to the campsite.

Hadley really enjoys climbing and will practice any chance she gets! She likes to use her feet and will try to get them on anything she sees. It's so interesting to watch her figure it out. She is taking more and more steps and very determined to walk everywhere! 

She was thrilled to see she could reach this bar at preschool! She loves the preschool playground and feels very at home there, and in the classroom too where she always goes straight to the guinea pig cage to squeal in delight at Chocolate Orange, the class pet.

I love when they sleep next to each other for a bit before I move Makena to her bed.

I watch a friend's little boy, baby J once a week while his mom takes the big sisters to preschool and works in the classroom. They have 2 cats, and Hadley can't believe how lucky she is that they let her pet them! I loved taking Makena to work with me when I used to watch the boys, she basically got to grow up with them and it was so much fun watching them go from babies to toddlers to real kids! I'm glad that Hadley has baby friends.

We've been getting into the swing of things now that school's back in session. Pam has been either taking the bus to work in the morning or riding her bike, which really makes my mornings a million times easier! I really love all the time I get to spend with my kids. It always makes me sad when I think about the parents who don't enjoy being with their children. Being a mom is everything I ever wanted! There are people who are desperate for children and struggling with infertility, and my heart breaks for them. I have some really tough moments and days, parenting is hard, really really hard at times. But even my most awful days now as a mom are better than my best days I had before I had kids!

I love seeing how Makena is growing up. We visited our old local park and had fun looking through photos taken there when she was little.

Makena hung up her very first posters on the wall above her bed! I feel like this is a pretty exciting milestone, lol. An ABCs of transportation, Strawberry Shortcake, and Pinkalicious "Reading is Pinktastic". Someday her poster choices will be vastly different. I wonder when these will be too babyish for her, and what she will be into at that time. I hope I still have 10 years ahead of her sweet, adorable, loving, silly self!

I turned in all of my volunteer credit hours from Blossom for a mom & baby yoga class! The day and timing are perfect, it's on Monday mornings after I drop off Makena at school. Hadley loves to walk around and play with all the toys they provide and visit all the other kids. She also loves the musical portion where we sing Old MacDonald and do yoga poses for the different animals. It's nice to have something special to do with just Hadley. 

1 month of babyhood left!

In 30 days Hadley will be turning 1 year old.

She is so much fun. She's happy, silly, sweet and I just love her personality! She keeps me on my toes in a way that Makena never has! I love to follow her around and watch how she moves her body. I find her standing up on things and rush to her before she falls. I watch her watch Makena in complete adoration. She loves her so much. In a way that I thought only Pam and I could. And Makena is so careful and thoughtful with Hadley. It brings me immeasurable joy to see them playing together. Even if playing at this point is just chasing each other and giggling on the floor!

These 11 months have gone by so fast. All time has gone by quickly since Makena was born, but being busy with 2 kids now has a way of making time fly even faster. At this point in Makena's life we knew she was a Sesame Street lover. Hadley loves animals. Dogs especially, but anything that moves, even birds and squirrels, they are all extremely exciting for her. I wonder when we will get a pet. I assume it'll be a cat, but this apartment is too small to fit another living thing!

I always wanted kids. Either 2 or 4, an even number so that there wouldn't be a middle child. If we had the resources to afford a better quality of life I would happily have 4 kids. Pam has always said 2, and I'm okay with that. Especially with our lifestyle now. I absolutely agree that we are not in the right place financially to have more!

But.

There is something about knowing I won't have another baby. It leaves me feeling an emptiness, not a big hollow black hole, but it's like there is a corner in my soul that is a bright white blank spot. It feels like hope, even though I know we aren't having another baby. It's hard to describe. Maybe it means that down the road somewhere our lives will change drastically and we will adopt a child in need! Oh how I would love that!! But for now we're happy. I was about to type that our hearts are full, and while they ARE, indeed incredibly full, there is still that spot in mine that knows it would be thrilled to expand for more kids. Then I was going to write that our hands are full, and yes, some days I feel like I might be crushed under the weight of motherhood, and my hands have more than they can physically juggle. But I could absolutely handle another child. Or two. ;)

So I'm soaking up these last weeks of babyhood. I'm so glad that Hadley is a cuddly adorable sweet baby. While she is definitely busy being on the move, she loves hugs and snuggles!

All About August!

August, more summertime fun! This is a small post because the best parts of August were our vacation and then preschool starting, but I want those to be separate posts.

For my 32nd birthday I had been dropping hints to Makena that my favorite tea was running out, the box that she bought me for Christmas was almost empty. She told me she was going to tell Mama that they needed to go to the store but it was a secret. Much to my complete surprise she got me another box for my birthday! :) They also got cupcakes!

We went to Google for a little kid study on a new app, and Makena tried out all the different types of chairs. She had gotten a hair cut a couple days prior, for school starting. I'll post a separate entry about school. And she looks adorable with her hair cut, but I'm sad some of her curls are gone. She doesn't have all the perfectly curly ringlets that she used to. :'(

Baths are always a highlight of the day. Hadley is obsessed with being in the bathroom, she loves to stand at the tub and reach in. She also likes to play with the toilet water. Ew. We are trying to keep a gate in the doorway, but it's a pain and Makena has a hard time crossing over it. But none of us can remember to keep the door shut, or the toilet lid down, and I'm paranoid that she'll fall in and drown. Ugh.

Baby K and baby H! 

Hadley learned how to climb up stairs! She also started taking her first steps, exactly on her 9 month birthday!

At the end of August I wrote this on my facebook-
After the park where Hadley spent most of the time putting various acorns and leaves and sand in her mouth, she took an hour nap at home. She woke up and when I went to her she was crying and gagging and coughing. I picked her up and she was acting like she was in distress, gasping for a full breath and coughing hard. She puked up a bit of white frothy spit, and was arching back with tears streaming down her face and breathing funny. I called Pam, then hung up on her and called the advice nurse. The lady on the phone who gets info from you then has the nurse call back, heard Hadley making that awful gurgling intake of breath and suggested I call 911 instead, which I was considering so I did. Then, just as 2 fire trucks and an ambulance arrived, she suddenly was fine. They checked her out, listened to her lungs and attached her to a pulse oximeter and declared her normal.

Omg. It was awful. And I was panicking about what I'd do if we had to go to the hospital because I'm babysitting the 2 boys right now and figure I wouldn't be able to get in the ambulance with 5 children, but I can't imagine sending her alone. Thankfully she's okay. But holy CRAP. That is more than enough excitement for today.

The paramedics asked if she had allergies and I said not that I know of, and I asked them if it was maybe an allergic reaction but they said probably not since she was fine. But she's still swallowing differently and burped a few big burps. So something was definitely going on and I don't know if it still is.