Friday, June 22, 2012

Photo Catch Up!

Makena didn't nap today. That's not unusual, typically when we're out and about she won't nap, and that just means she falls asleep without a problem at 7pm. It's lovely! The hour from 6-7 is usually pretty rough though, she has meltdowns from pure exhaustion and fights us on getting in the bath and then getting out of the bath. Screams when it's time for brushing her teeth, then screams if we forget to brush her tongue or floss. Runs around the bedroom crying about not wanting to put on her diaper and pajamas, then suddenly needs us to help put them on.

It's not the most fun part of the day, but the only fix is to turn off the light and close the door. Well, actually she demands she needs to do that stuff, practically shoving Pam out of the room while giving her a goodnight hug and kiss then runs to the bed and nurses to sleep. It tends to take about 5 minutes until she's asleep. If she does take a nap, I get a little one hour break in the middle of the day and Makena is much more pleasant in the evening. We can go out to run errands or enjoy a meal out and she has time to play with Pam without rushing to eat dinner and start the bedtime routine. But then she typically fights her sleep. Especially if she took a nap longer than an hour or slept past 2 pm. If she wakes up just ten minutes past 2 o'clock, she'll be up until 10pm. Her sleep habits continue to be my main source of frustration!

We have been talking about changing things up a bit. Well, changing things up a lot. We wanted to wait until we were settled in our new home. It's been almost 6 weeks now, and I think we're about as ready as we ever will be. Night weaning is on the horizon... and that's a post for another day.

So now it's time for a photo catch up!

Makena finished her dance/tumbling together class, and she drew this picture for Andrea. I especially like that she put herself in the middle next to Andrea with Pam and I off to the side. And I like the 2 blue mats. Andrea gave her a copy of the songs from the class and Makena just loves that CD!


 Here she is doing one of her favorite songs. "Reach to the sky like you're climbing a rope!"


She's really into hiding and pretending that she's asleep. The sleeping thing is fine by me, it gives me a few minutes to zone out and play on my phone. The hiding thing drives me bonkers. She'll be in the bathroom on the potty and call out that she's all done, and when I go in there she's covering her face with her hands. If I go get the mail and come back inside she's hiding. When anyone comes over she makes a frantic run to hide when she hears a knock at the door. Even when she's nursing on the couch and Pam comes home from work Makena will turn her face into me and hide... while still nursing. It's pretty amazing how long she'll hide, eventually she starts to do a fake laugh to entice us to find her. The game was cute at first but it's been going on for a bit too long. The other day I called her inside and she didn't answer. I looked into our little back yard and didn't see her, and then realized she was hiding. So I tried explaining when it's okay to hide and play, and when I need her to respond so I know she's alright. Here's a photo of her pretending to be asleep when we were about to have a picnic.


We went to the Silicon Valley Duck Race a couple weekends ago. I wish they had this big walking duck character last time, it would've made for a fun photo comparison. We went 2 years ago, when Makena was just 5 months old. It was more fun this time, we walked around the game booths and Makena won some prizes.

She asked to go in the bouncy house, so I paid for her and then she wouldn't bounce. She can be slow to warm up to things, and she wanted one of us to go in with her but there were other little kids in there. Eventually she had fun but she only lasted a few minutes. I really want another baby. I think Makena would do great with a sibling, and she'd be the sweetest big sister! Most of the games were too hard but when she did the mini golf game she got a hole in one!! They all cheered and said that was the first hole in one the whole day, lol.


Then she saw the sparkly temporary tattoos and at first she picked out a chihuahua dog but thankfully decided on a mermaid. The lady asked if she wanted Ariel, and Makena said yes. She sat still the whole time and was beaming when she saw how cute it looked in the sun!


We watched the rubber duckies float down the creek then had a picnic and played at the park. There was a huge family reunion group next to us and the most annoying little boy who kept walking onto our blanket and grabbing our food and stuff. And I don't think he spoke or understood English. I have a high patience level with kids, but this kid rubbed me the wrong way and I was pissed off that none of the adults were watching him. He was so insistent, like a fly that won't stop buzzing around your face. I'm sure that sounds so harsh, and he was little, about Makena's age. And honestly my issue was with the adults. But he was freaking Makena out and driving us crazy. Finally he ran off and the next thing we knew a group of tween girls decided to have a water balloon fight right next to us, and one hit Makena and exploded water all over her and our blanket, and she was terrified and burst into tears. I shouted at them (again, my anger was misplaced- I really wanted to shout at the completely irresponsible adults) and they didn't apologize but moved away, and then and only then did one of the adults yell over to us to say they were sorry. Ugh! We were so frustrated and left. I can't stand when people aren't respectful and are oblivious to common courtesy things. Language barriers aside, you should be aware of where your children are and if they are trying to steal food from strangers. Anyway, rant over.

We stopped to walk in the creek on our way to the car. A few teenage boys showed up with fishing poles and one said to the others that they couldn't fish there because there were kids in the water. The other boys tried to argue with him and I'm glad he convinced them that throwing sharp hooks into the extremely shallow water where people were walking barefoot was a bad idea. My mama bear power was in full force that day and I probably would've turned into the Incredible Hulk if they cast the line into the water by us.


This is Makena's favorite hiding spot at home. And all the books she wanted to read before her nap. We narrowed it down to 2 and read most of the rest later. (See that painting on the wall? She painted everything that's out in the back yard. My hanging plant, the garden boxes, her yellow and orange water table, her red slide with red steps, the little blue table...it's actually a pretty accurate picture!)


And here's what it looks like behind the recliner. We put pillows and blankets in there and she plays with her dolls and reads books.


 I really think we have like, the cutest kid ever. I mean seriously.



Makena and her moms, walking across the street to buy a new garden hose. When she reaches up to hold my hand it's one of the best feelings in the world.


Showing off her plants. She loves watering them and watching everything grow. I'm so happy we have an outdoor area for her to play.


We woke up one morning and started to play with the new wooden blocks Pam brought home. Makena was separating them into different color piles, so I decided we'd make a rainbow and find as many colorful things around the house as we could. It took us a little more than an hour, and we had so much fun! She decided the plain wooden block should go in the purple spot since we didn't have too many purple things. And since the stuffed duck is yellow and orange she laid it across both colors. Then we dressed her up in rainbow stuff for the photo. :)


Putting on a puppet show for me at the library. We checked out a bunch of bedtime books and then she found this Octonauts book. We stopped at the park on our way home. I'll say again how much I love having a library within walking distance!! There was a little branch library near our old apartment but the hours were short and we only went twice.


She wanted to blow bubbles for Donte but he wasn't interested. So she walked around holding his tail like a leash. I know in this photo it looks like she's pulling his tail but he was fine, he's such a good cat. And she was just following him where he went. The second he had enough he meowed and she let go. Then she wanted me to blow bubbles on her tummy like they do in her gym class.


 In addition to living close to the library and having an outdoor area for Makena to play, we are loving the pool! We had a few hot days and it's great to go swimming around 3-4pm when it's mostly shaded. The pool is heated, so it always feels great. Then again, I'm sure when we have a heat wave it won't feel too refreshing. Makena asks to go swimming a lot, and I wonder if the novelty of it will wear off. Probably not, what kid doesn't love being in the pool?!


Last but not least we had somewhat planned a trip up to Seattle next month to visit some of Pam's family, but we can't really afford it, and a 2 day road trip doesn't sound fun at all. So we've decided to have a staycation instead! We'll spend the week Pam has off work doing the local stuff we've been wanting to do. I'm really looking forward to it. :) I'm also looking forward to next week, the boys have been away on vacation and we've missed them!

Some Funny Things Makena Says

I've had this list on my phone for a while.

Ah-ta! (Ta-da)
Bobos (buggers)
O-tay! (Okay)
Sure (four)
Short (fork)
Eye too (ice cube)
Bay bay (band aid)
Shone (phone)
Uh-sigh! (other side, while nursing)
Butt hole! (yeah, she means butt hole...)
I yike dis song! (I like this song)
Rockship! (rocket ship... said when she sees an airplane with a white smoke trail.)
Few few (hula hoop)
Shit! (Sit AND shirt, lol)

Also, every airplane is going to New Yok. While playing in sandbox she was making some food and needed to add some soy sah. And the other day she ran over to me and gave me a hug and I said, "I love you Makena!" and she replied, "I love you milk!"

Not sure if she meant I love *your* milk, or if she basically just thinks I'm milk. She nurses often enough, so I can understand the confusion. :)

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Musings on parenting

I've been thinking a lot about attachment parenting, and our parenting style. Pam and I come from different backgrounds, but before we ever had a child we always talked about how we'd parent. There were examples of different parenting moments everywhere we went. We'd chat about a situation we noticed while driving home. We felt confident we were on the same page about the big issues, and even the little issues! I didn't really know the term attachment parenting, and I didn't set out to follow it, but it's what came naturally. It's the natural way of parenting and shouldn't even need a term. It was so helpful for me to see that the things we did in those early months were normal and natural, even if co-sleeping and nursing your baby to sleep and rocking them endlessly so they don't cry isn't the normal way of our society. In some cases not only is society wrong, but it gives horrible advice and makes things worse.

It's hard to go against the grain sometimes. When something isn't mainstream some people resist it. I never really thought about that too much though before Makena was born. I knew I wanted to have a natural birth and breastfeed and cloth diaper. I wanted to make her own baby food and skip the rice cereal. It takes very little research to see the benefits of those things.

Of course, once you actually have a child nothing is as it seems. Things I felt strongly about (No pacifiers! No tv!) quickly went out the window when I realized that wasn't going to work for our situation. I never wanted to be a permissive parent, someone who let my kids walk over me and rule the house. I didn't want to resort to bribes. I didn't want to go back on my word and let my kids learn to manipulate me. I didn't want them to scream bloody murder just so I'd hand over a candy bar in the grocery store. Pam and I agreed we'd leave the restaurant (or whatever the public place was) before Makena made a scene and disturbed the peace, and I'm happy to say we've never had to really do that. Sure there have been times where Makena has gotten antsy at a restaurant and Pam will usually walk around with her outside for a bit until she's ready to sit.

I'm not sure if we're just blessed with an "easy" kid, or if we're just good parents in the way that we anticipate and react to her needs. We value her emotions, the good and the "bad." I have a baggie of fun little stuff that I keep in the diaper bag for when we're out, and I whip it out the second I notice Makena needing something to keep her busy. We interact with her the vast majority of the time, talking/coloring/playing along with her. We take into account her tiredness level, how hungry she is, what time it is, etc... to ensure we will all be in a good mood. There were a few months when she was about 12-16 months old, when she was tougher than usual to keep happy. Luckily that phase passed, and now she's a total joy to be around! Of course she has off days, so do I! But we get many comments on how pleasant and sweet she is, and it makes my heart swell. "I know, right?!" is what I want to exclaim, and, "It's because we're awesome parents and really in tune with her needs, and our family feeds off each others happiness!" But that's way too cheesy so we just smile and mumble, "Thanks, we think she's awesome too."
 
In all my years of working with kids I learned a lot of great tips and a lot of "what not to do." But then I had my own kid, and the lines got blurred. Once I popped that pacifier in Makena's mouth (at only 2 days old nonetheless!!!!) I thought perhaps I'd been wrong to make all those assumptions about what good parenting was. And then I think about the whole "if it works for your family, it's the right choice" thing. And I'm not sure I fully believe in that. One could argue that feeding highly processed crap food works for them, but really, does it?? Or is the kid getting the short end of the stick? What about spanking? I'm pretty sure it's the parents saying it works for them, and not the kids. So how do we differentiate between things that are really valid choices (things where either option is mostly equal and neither is detrimental) and "choices" that are based on something else entirely? Convenience, cost, going along with what others are doing, or just being uninformed are things I'm talking about. Someone picks the sunscreen that's the cheapest and slathers it on their baby. Someone is fooled into thinking the pancake syrup label that says "high fructose corn syrup free!" means it's healthy... and doesn't stop to read that the ingredients list corn syrup and sugar at the top.

And then people get offended, which is BEYOND my comprehension. I try to own up to my mistakes and shortcomings in all areas of my life. I'm far from perfect, but I'm aware. I know that sometimes Makena eats things that aren't healthy.

If someone were to call me out on that (adorable!) photo of her enjoying an ice cream cone from Baskin Robbins, the last thing I'd be is offended. Because I know, believe me. I know that it has corn syrup and artificial colors and a host of other crap ingredients in the ice cream, let alone in the chocolate coated cone. So why do I let her eat it? It's fun, that's why. It's a special sometimes treat, and she knows that. And because I enjoy it, I'm not gonna lie! If there was an all natural ice cream shop we'd happily go there, but we just so happen to have a Baskin Robbins across the street. Then again, if a McDonald's was across the street we certainly wouldn't be stopping in there, but I digress.

All I'm trying to say is that yeah, for some extent you should do what works for your family. But do it with mindfulness. Do it so that not only do you feel comfortable, but that your kid and the future adult they'll be feels comfortable with your decision. I know we can't guarantee that, but it's just an awareness thing.

Anyway. I started this entry with this story in mind, and went off on a few tangents. It takes me a few days to compose something because life is busy with an almost 2.5 year old and by the time I post it I've lost my train of thought a million times.
 
Makena is a clever kid. She's smart in ways that sneak up on me. Sometimes I don't even see the wheels turning in her head before it's too late. The other day we were leaving the grocery store and as we passed the row of quarter toy machines she asked for one. I told her I didn't have any quarters (truthfully!), and then I remembered that I needed to get quarters to do laundry. We turned around and I got $10 worth. Then we left the store again, and as we passed the toy machines Makena asked for a quarter.
 
I answered her the same way I had 3 minutes ago. "Sorry sweetie, I don't have any quarters." I realized the fib as it came out of my mouth. In that split second I wasn't sure whether to go along with it or admit that I DID have quarters but those toys are a waste of money and we needed to just go home.
But she solved the problem herself- "Yes do have, mommy. Do have quarters!"

See, she's smart. She deserved that toy. And let's face it, I love being able to make her happy, especially if it's a simple thing like that. Thankfully she's not the type who then demands it over and over. I'm happy that we've seem to have struck a great balance. Sometimes she gets demanding for the silliest reasons, but she's either exhausted and it's time for bed, or she's hungry. The 6pm hour, especially if she didn't nap, can be grueling.

Mostly though, she's all around amazingly awesome and we thank our lucky stars all day long!