September and Camping with Preschool!

In early September we went to Sunset State Beach for a weekend camping trip! About 15 other families from preschool went too, and we coordinated months ago to book sites in the same section. It was so awesome to let the kids run free between sites, knowing that there were lots of friendly adults keeping their eyes out. We all went to the beach and then had a big potluck. I tried to keep Hadley out of the dirt but eventually let her go for it.

My mom came for the potluck dinner one night. Makena collected a huge amount of sand dollars at the beach and brought them back to the campsite.

Hadley really enjoys climbing and will practice any chance she gets! She likes to use her feet and will try to get them on anything she sees. It's so interesting to watch her figure it out. She is taking more and more steps and very determined to walk everywhere! 

She was thrilled to see she could reach this bar at preschool! She loves the preschool playground and feels very at home there, and in the classroom too where she always goes straight to the guinea pig cage to squeal in delight at Chocolate Orange, the class pet.

I love when they sleep next to each other for a bit before I move Makena to her bed.

I watch a friend's little boy, baby J once a week while his mom takes the big sisters to preschool and works in the classroom. They have 2 cats, and Hadley can't believe how lucky she is that they let her pet them! I loved taking Makena to work with me when I used to watch the boys, she basically got to grow up with them and it was so much fun watching them go from babies to toddlers to real kids! I'm glad that Hadley has baby friends.

We've been getting into the swing of things now that school's back in session. Pam has been either taking the bus to work in the morning or riding her bike, which really makes my mornings a million times easier! I really love all the time I get to spend with my kids. It always makes me sad when I think about the parents who don't enjoy being with their children. Being a mom is everything I ever wanted! There are people who are desperate for children and struggling with infertility, and my heart breaks for them. I have some really tough moments and days, parenting is hard, really really hard at times. But even my most awful days now as a mom are better than my best days I had before I had kids!

I love seeing how Makena is growing up. We visited our old local park and had fun looking through photos taken there when she was little.

Makena hung up her very first posters on the wall above her bed! I feel like this is a pretty exciting milestone, lol. An ABCs of transportation, Strawberry Shortcake, and Pinkalicious "Reading is Pinktastic". Someday her poster choices will be vastly different. I wonder when these will be too babyish for her, and what she will be into at that time. I hope I still have 10 years ahead of her sweet, adorable, loving, silly self!

I turned in all of my volunteer credit hours from Blossom for a mom & baby yoga class! The day and timing are perfect, it's on Monday mornings after I drop off Makena at school. Hadley loves to walk around and play with all the toys they provide and visit all the other kids. She also loves the musical portion where we sing Old MacDonald and do yoga poses for the different animals. It's nice to have something special to do with just Hadley. 

1 month of babyhood left!

In 30 days Hadley will be turning 1 year old.

She is so much fun. She's happy, silly, sweet and I just love her personality! She keeps me on my toes in a way that Makena never has! I love to follow her around and watch how she moves her body. I find her standing up on things and rush to her before she falls. I watch her watch Makena in complete adoration. She loves her so much. In a way that I thought only Pam and I could. And Makena is so careful and thoughtful with Hadley. It brings me immeasurable joy to see them playing together. Even if playing at this point is just chasing each other and giggling on the floor!

These 11 months have gone by so fast. All time has gone by quickly since Makena was born, but being busy with 2 kids now has a way of making time fly even faster. At this point in Makena's life we knew she was a Sesame Street lover. Hadley loves animals. Dogs especially, but anything that moves, even birds and squirrels, they are all extremely exciting for her. I wonder when we will get a pet. I assume it'll be a cat, but this apartment is too small to fit another living thing!

I always wanted kids. Either 2 or 4, an even number so that there wouldn't be a middle child. If we had the resources to afford a better quality of life I would happily have 4 kids. Pam has always said 2, and I'm okay with that. Especially with our lifestyle now. I absolutely agree that we are not in the right place financially to have more!

But.

There is something about knowing I won't have another baby. It leaves me feeling an emptiness, not a big hollow black hole, but it's like there is a corner in my soul that is a bright white blank spot. It feels like hope, even though I know we aren't having another baby. It's hard to describe. Maybe it means that down the road somewhere our lives will change drastically and we will adopt a child in need! Oh how I would love that!! But for now we're happy. I was about to type that our hearts are full, and while they ARE, indeed incredibly full, there is still that spot in mine that knows it would be thrilled to expand for more kids. Then I was going to write that our hands are full, and yes, some days I feel like I might be crushed under the weight of motherhood, and my hands have more than they can physically juggle. But I could absolutely handle another child. Or two. ;)

So I'm soaking up these last weeks of babyhood. I'm so glad that Hadley is a cuddly adorable sweet baby. While she is definitely busy being on the move, she loves hugs and snuggles!