I didn't set out to be a natural parent. Actually I never gave much though to my parenting style until I started living it! When I was sitting with my newborn little Makena I read Dr. Sears book on Attachment Parenting. I realized that's exactly what I wanted/planned to do. I didn't realize it had an official name! I've always been a little crunchy, leaning towards very crunchy in some areas, but it was never "on purpose." But since having Makena (and even while still pregnant I suppose) I've leaned more towards the natural way of parenting.
Obviously, sometimes I fail miserably. Lifestyle changes are hard. And getting used to an entire new lifestyle, one that revolves completely around a baby, can be a huge wake up call. I feel like my life is now a continual journey to better myself as a parent and person. So here are 3 things that I suck at.*
I'm writing this so I have a reminder of the areas I want to improve in. Maybe I'll look back on this one day, or Makena will read this one day, and realize I've done even better than I hoped to do. :)
1. I wanted to use cloth diapers before I even had a baby. It was never a question in my mind. When I was pregnant I started to actually research them, and it was incredibly overwhelming. I was given a lot of diapers from friends, some used, some brand new. I also was approved for a cloth diaper loan program. I found some more diapers for very cheap or even free online with craigslist or freecycle. And I slowly started to build my stash! I didn't plan to use them 100% of the time, actually I didn't think at all about how much I wanted to use them, just that I did. I had 2 cloth diapers with me in our hospital bag, but Makena was wearing the hospital provided Pamper Swaddlers for her first few days of life, and we continued using them at home. They are easier, what can I say.
We live in an apartment and have to use a coin operated washer/dryer downstairs, so we don't do laundry every day. Heck some weeks go by without us doing a single load of laundry. (Our bedroom right now is being overcome by piles of dirty clothes...) Usually it's pure laziness. Sometimes it's because we don't have the time to start and finish a load. Sometimes it's frustration because the machines are out of order. And sometimes we just don't have quarters.
I quickly learned that when using cloth diapers (first they need to be prepped, which is a LOT of annoying wasted laundering if you ask me) it's only beneficial for me if I use enough to warrant washing an entire load. I decided to have her in cloth part-time. I picked 3 days that worked best for our schedule, and during those days she wore cloth, and I'd wash the diaper laundry on the 4th day. But it wasn't every single week, and it wasn't always the same 3 days. With shifting work schedules sometimes a month would go by with her in only disposables. Around the time she turned 1 we had a couple of boxes of 'sposies in her size, so we used them all. And then bought another box because they were on sale and I used a coupon and got them for like $7.
And now she's usually only in 'sposies. I'm not happy about that, but it's the truth. I try to make a plan to use cloth only for a few days, but it doesn't always happen. If we had our own washer and dryer I know for a fact that I'd use them more! I'd do more laundry period if we had a W/D. But as it stands, her dirty (yet beautiful!) cloth diapers just can't handle sitting in the wetbag for weeks at a time. I wish I could get my butt in gear and ONLY have the cloth diapers in the house, so we are forced to use them and wash them in a timely matter. But I also wish I cooked all our meals from fresh healthy ingredients. Which brings me to...
2. Before we had Makena, Pam and I swore we'd eat better while raising a family. It's the smartest thing to do health wise, but also financially! We still find ourselves eating out or grabbing quick meals and snacks while out and about. This is a huge problem of mine, because I am SUCH a picky eater and when I'm hungry I'm in an awful mood. Often we will spend money on food just to make our day go easier, since my hungry grumpy mood can really ruin a fun day. I love grocery shopping, and I love looking up recipes and making new foods. I had assumed I'd be the kind of stay at home mom who has a delicious home cooked dinner on the table each night. But it just doesn't happen. It's rare that we have a good fully balanced meal at home.
Thankfully, Makena eats pretty awesomely, but the point is that our whole family should eat well. I blame money. I don't like so many foods that it's hard for me to justify spending money on new things only to not like eating them. I wish I could branch out more. I don't want to fail Makena in that department. And unfortunately a lot of the healthiest options are the most expensive. Another problem is that we don't do well with budgeting out our money for groceries, or buy for specific meals. And even when we do, we don't usually end up sticking to that plan. I want to bake fresh bread; have meals frozen in the freezer for nights we don't feel like cooking; have a bowl of fruit on the table that gets eaten before it turns rotten and our kitchen is filled with fruit flies. I want to eat/use leftovers instead of finding them 3 months later in the back of the fridge when they are moldy. And I want to sit down as a family every single night for dinner. It's what we did in my home growing up, and it's something I find extremely important.
3. I don't/didn't wear Makena as often as I wanted to. Babywearing is one of the oldest concepts of all time. It's only natural to have your baby in your arms. We are fortunate enough to have an Ergo baby carrier, and it's like pure gold. We've definitely gotten enough use out of it to make it worth the hefty price tag (which I thankfully got on sale!) but sometimes days (or even weeks) would go by without me wearing Makena. I just didn't have much of a need to, I guess. She was a happy baby, content to lay or sit on the floor playing. And we use a car to travel around town. I got the most use of it when I'd bring her to work with me and try to get her to nap in there while out on a walk, since she wasn't a stroller sleeping baby. I also used to put her in there to do laundry, or just take a short walk in the neighborhood for some what I would call "air and wear" time. I think baby #2, whenever that may be, will be worn more often for sure. :)
*I know there are more, but those are probably the 3 biggest things that stick out. Now I want to think of all the things I do awesomely well. lol.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Mother Bear
Obviously, nobody is perfect. I've had over a year now of understanding what "Mama Drama" and "Mommy Wars" are about. I think it boils down to mother bear syndrome. You know how it goes, you bother a baby bear cub and you better be ready for an attack from the mama bear! Only you don't even have to bother that cub. You can just be too close and the mama will react. It's in her very nature to protect her young.
As humans, we have that same instinct. But we also have words. And words can hurt. You can say something that another mom doesn't agree with, maybe about her parenting style or a decision she's made for her child, and all hell will break loose. Only you don't even have to say something about her. You can just be talking about your OWN parenting style and she'll get offended and become defensive. It's a crazy world full of mama bears out here!!
I truly believe we all want what's best for ourcubs babies. Which is why it's so infuriating when someone does or says something that goes against what you believe in... and vice versa! It sucks to feel like your core beliefs are being challenged. But I'm all for learning new ways of doing things, and I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong or have changed my mind. I don't tend to get emotional and angry because I'm often too busy researching whatever issue is at hand. Please, help me see the light and change my mind if I'm wrong!! I'm all for it.
When Makena was 4 months old I got a free used Baby Bjorn. It was awesome, we loved it, she loved it. Then it was mentioned to me (by a few people!) that that style of baby carrier wasn't as great as some others, and I could've stopped right there and flipped out about it- "But Makena doesn't mind, she likes facing outward!" Instead I started reading. Sure enough, the Bjorn is known as one of the worst carriers out there! No need to be upset, because I simply didn't know. And I'm not going to be defensive about something if I'm not armed with facts. (And let me note: safety ALWAYS trumps, "but she likes it!")
Anyway, the reason I say all this is because I've found myself feeling like a bit of an activist for a few different parenting things that I didn't realize I felt so strongly about. Issues that are important to me. So that doesn't make me an activist really, but I'm someone who can't help but share information and wants to start discussions so other moms can make the right decision. So here are my top mama bear issues, in no particular order:
Breastfeeding! Why is this a hot subject? There are SO many emotions tied to this simple act of feeding your baby the way nature intended. Oh wait, that's part of the problem. Breast IS best. Nobody can argue that, the facts have been proven time and time again. But what if it isn't a simple act for you? What if you have milk or supply issues? What if you go back to work and need to pump? What if, what if, what if... People FREAK OUT over the breast milk/formula debate. Why? I believe it's their own guilt, or misinformation. And unfortunately breastfeeding doesn't come easily to every mom and baby. There are a lot of things that can go wrong. I never even thought about worrying about breastfeeding. The woman I saw in my family nursed their babies. It was something I always assumed I'd do one day, and one of the things I most looked forward to when having a baby.
I was very surprised when I struggled in PAIN during those first 2 weeks of nursing Makena. Sometimes it was fine. When she latched on and started nursing in the hospital, minutes after birth, I figured I was a pro! Every time a nurse asked me how it was going I was proud to say "Great!" But then my milk came in the day after we got home from the hospital. (3 days after she was born.) I would sit and cry while she tried to latch on and cry even more as she nursed. Pam would stand there helpless as I winced in pain, squeezed my eyes shut, and bit my lip. I'd try to repeatedly pop her off and re-latch, but it was SO PAINFUL. It felt like needles were being jabbed into an open wound. But my baby was hungry, I had to feed her. I had to feed my baby otherwise she would starve. Formula was NOT an option I considered. I had to just DO it. It would start to feel less painful after a few minutes, so I only had to bear it for a short while. So I did. But my god, I finally felt like I understood why some women would chose not to nurse. And then my nipples would bleed and start to scab over and I had to continue nursing my baby through it all. Not fun.
Did the thought cross my mind to give up? I'm not going to lie. I fantasized about how easy it would be to have Pam make bottles and feed the baby. But I wanted to nurse. I was willing to do anything to ensure the nursing relationship I longed for. I wasn't able to have the all natural birth I hoped for, so I HAD to get this right. Then sometime around the 2nd week I realized it didn't hurt. Or, more like, the period of pain was getting shorter and shorter. And it wasn't easy or sweet, or pleasurable, or lovely, for a long time. Makena has always had a shallow latch. I had red itchy dry patches on my boobs for MONTHS. I went through tubes of Lansinoh. When she was about 6 months old I remember thinking how much easier nursing had become over time. We still struggled, she bit me a few times and then went on a devastating nursing strike for a few days, but it was getting so much better. And around 8 months, voila! We had it down. Finally! Nursing became a pure joy. :) And I've loved attending my local La Leche League meetings. I go to the one in Mountain View, and the group of moms is so awesome. We sit and talk and our babies play. It's such a great support group, and I now recommend the LLL to all expecting moms I know!!
But guess what? It's still not totally perfect. Like I said, she has a shallow latch, and sometimes as she falls asleep she will start to let my nipple slide out of her mouth then quickly try to stop it and she will bite it. And I almost always have to pop her off with my finger, which isn't comfortable. She would happily nurse for hours sometimes. Lately whenever she sees me and remembers I have boobs she asks for milk. It's adorable, but can be very annoying as well! Especially since this is something Pam can not help with. That gets very frustrating for me. And for Pam too.
I love nursing. Even through the painful times, it's so amazing. It makes me feel like the most important person in the world. Giver of life and nutrition! :)
So, breastfeeding. It's super important. And for people who don't? Oh well. Surely they excel in another area of parenting that I fail at! Ok, enough on that.
Car Seat Safety! I love being safe. I love rules, and following directions. I love to plan things out and do things the right way. When I was 13, I was visiting family members and my little cousins weren't buckled into their carseats correctly... and the "older" children weren't even wearing their seat belts. I knew that it was unsafe. I insisted that I had to sit in the chair with the working seat belt. I was laughed at. I'm sure eyes were rolled at the back of my head. But I didn't care at all. When I had my license I made a vow to never drive anyone who wasn't buckled in. I've been known to stop the car and refuse to drive if a passenger doesn't buckle up. And when I lived in NY, I would sit in a taxi and use the seatbelt!! Almost unheard of for most New Yorkers.
Obviously being safe in the car is an issue I care deeply about. Whenever I see kids bouncing around in the back seat of moving cars, or carseats installed the wrong way, or ADULTS HOLDING BABIES IN THEIR ARMS, I want to scream. Twice I've called 911 to report children being left buckled in their carseats, locked in cars outside of Trader Joe's. The first time the police arrived at the car as the mother came out, and the second time (Pam was actually the one who made the call) the mom came out and drove away before the cops got there. I don't care if you just have to run into the store for one thing. Children DIE from being left in a car. I cannot imagine the horror.
Anyway. Back to carseats. The main issue is using them safely. If you don't have the straps adjusted correctly or tight enough, or the chest clip latched at the chest, or a bunch of other things, you are doing it wrong and putting your childs life at risk. And if that seat isn't installed correctly into the car, then it's pointless. It's not just about snapping it into the seat. I was eager to have our appointment at the local car seat installation station. I "passed" with flying colors both times. :) What an honor! 4 out of 5 carseats are installed incorrectly. FOUR out of FIVE!!!! I am beyond proud that I'm one of the few who has my baby safely secured as we drive around. I feel it should be absolutely mandatory to have your carseat checked out by a certified technician before putting a baby in it. And then again to be sure you have accurately strapped the baby in!
And what goes hand in hand with car seat safety?!
Extended Rear Facing! Seriously, this shouldn't even be a phrase. It should be the only option! The guidelines that used to say you could turn your baby facing forward at 1 year and 20 lbs are a load of crap. It's not safe to have babies facing forward. End of story. Every child should be facing backwards until they outgrow their seat limits by height or weight. And car seat manufacturers need to get with the program and only make and sell seats that have high limits!!
But what if the baby doesn't like to be backwards? What if they cry and want to look out of the window? No. Safety first. They probably also don't like it when you don't let them play by the pool by themselves, or play with knives, or eat poisonous things. Makena haaaaaaates riding in the car. She will cry for hours. One of us sits back there with her. She's 14 months old now, and I think Pam and I have sat in the front together less than 10 times. And when she turned 1 year old we put in a portable DVD player to keep her entertained. Something we NEVER thought we'd do! But, you do what you need to do to keep your child safe.
But what if the baby's legs are touching the seat back? Baby looks so smushed back there. Turning them forward would give them more space! Sure. More space to get more injuries in a crash! Your baby doesn't know any better. All they know is that when they are in the car that's where they sit. So your toddler and young child will know the same. Just because YOU think it looks uncomfortable doesn't mean it is. And even if it IS, I'd rather have an uncomfortable child than one in a body cast. Or worse.
Do the right thing for goodness sake. Keep them rear facing as long as possible. Period.
Circumcision.
Why is this a hot button issue?! WHY?! Maybe I'm just lucky that I grew up in a family where penises were left the way god intended. I know that I'm not always the smartest cookie in the jar, but I like to think I have enough of a brain to know that mutilating a newborn babies genitals is never okay. What kind of mother carries her child in her womb, keeping him safe and looking forward to holding him in her arms, then lets him be taken away by strangers to have perfectly healthy skin cut off of his most sensitive body part? A mother who doesn't know better. And ignorance is sweet sweet bliss. But oh, what a horrendous mistake to make. As for the mothers who think they've read all the research and have decided they still feel like inflicting such needless pain upon the child they are supposed to protect? Now that's where the real shame is.
There is no excuse for it. None. More baby boys die from circumcision than SIDS every year. So not only is the procedure risky, but it's completely unnecessary. Some common lame reasons I've heard-
But I want him to look like his father. Wow, really? Does his father have a tiny hairless penis? Your baby girl isn't born with developed breasts, would you like her to get implants?
But the other boys are circumcised and I don't want him to be made fun of. Chances are, the other boys aren't!! Infant circumcision rates are dropping like crazy as more people learn the truth. Most other countries don't do it at all. What a poor excuse. You might as well tell your son when he's older that you valued what others *might* think about him more than his own worth. You are pretty much sending a message of "Your body is disgusting, I want it "fixed" to look like what my idea of a "good penis" looks like before I can love you."
It's a religious tradition. Yeah... it's too bad that you feel like honoring that tradition, when I'm SURE there are others that you let slide without thought. Religious excuses never sit well with me. There's nothing an outdated fiction book can tell me that I'll take seriously enough to go against common sense.
It's my husbands decision. Actually, it's not. It's your sons decision. And if you want to spare him the pain of enduring the procedure as an adult, then THINK ABOUT THAT for a minute. It is even MORE painful when done on an infant. And then you will let them pee and poop where their bloody wound needs to heal. Gross.
Ugh. I feel like there is so much more, obviously. But it takes me so so SO long to type anything, this has been over 2 weeks in the making now, and I'd rather just get back to playing with my little one. :)
As humans, we have that same instinct. But we also have words. And words can hurt. You can say something that another mom doesn't agree with, maybe about her parenting style or a decision she's made for her child, and all hell will break loose. Only you don't even have to say something about her. You can just be talking about your OWN parenting style and she'll get offended and become defensive. It's a crazy world full of mama bears out here!!
I truly believe we all want what's best for our
When Makena was 4 months old I got a free used Baby Bjorn. It was awesome, we loved it, she loved it. Then it was mentioned to me (by a few people!) that that style of baby carrier wasn't as great as some others, and I could've stopped right there and flipped out about it- "But Makena doesn't mind, she likes facing outward!" Instead I started reading. Sure enough, the Bjorn is known as one of the worst carriers out there! No need to be upset, because I simply didn't know. And I'm not going to be defensive about something if I'm not armed with facts. (And let me note: safety ALWAYS trumps, "but she likes it!")
Anyway, the reason I say all this is because I've found myself feeling like a bit of an activist for a few different parenting things that I didn't realize I felt so strongly about. Issues that are important to me. So that doesn't make me an activist really, but I'm someone who can't help but share information and wants to start discussions so other moms can make the right decision. So here are my top mama bear issues, in no particular order:
Breastfeeding! Why is this a hot subject? There are SO many emotions tied to this simple act of feeding your baby the way nature intended. Oh wait, that's part of the problem. Breast IS best. Nobody can argue that, the facts have been proven time and time again. But what if it isn't a simple act for you? What if you have milk or supply issues? What if you go back to work and need to pump? What if, what if, what if... People FREAK OUT over the breast milk/formula debate. Why? I believe it's their own guilt, or misinformation. And unfortunately breastfeeding doesn't come easily to every mom and baby. There are a lot of things that can go wrong. I never even thought about worrying about breastfeeding. The woman I saw in my family nursed their babies. It was something I always assumed I'd do one day, and one of the things I most looked forward to when having a baby.
I was very surprised when I struggled in PAIN during those first 2 weeks of nursing Makena. Sometimes it was fine. When she latched on and started nursing in the hospital, minutes after birth, I figured I was a pro! Every time a nurse asked me how it was going I was proud to say "Great!" But then my milk came in the day after we got home from the hospital. (3 days after she was born.) I would sit and cry while she tried to latch on and cry even more as she nursed. Pam would stand there helpless as I winced in pain, squeezed my eyes shut, and bit my lip. I'd try to repeatedly pop her off and re-latch, but it was SO PAINFUL. It felt like needles were being jabbed into an open wound. But my baby was hungry, I had to feed her. I had to feed my baby otherwise she would starve. Formula was NOT an option I considered. I had to just DO it. It would start to feel less painful after a few minutes, so I only had to bear it for a short while. So I did. But my god, I finally felt like I understood why some women would chose not to nurse. And then my nipples would bleed and start to scab over and I had to continue nursing my baby through it all. Not fun.
Did the thought cross my mind to give up? I'm not going to lie. I fantasized about how easy it would be to have Pam make bottles and feed the baby. But I wanted to nurse. I was willing to do anything to ensure the nursing relationship I longed for. I wasn't able to have the all natural birth I hoped for, so I HAD to get this right. Then sometime around the 2nd week I realized it didn't hurt. Or, more like, the period of pain was getting shorter and shorter. And it wasn't easy or sweet, or pleasurable, or lovely, for a long time. Makena has always had a shallow latch. I had red itchy dry patches on my boobs for MONTHS. I went through tubes of Lansinoh. When she was about 6 months old I remember thinking how much easier nursing had become over time. We still struggled, she bit me a few times and then went on a devastating nursing strike for a few days, but it was getting so much better. And around 8 months, voila! We had it down. Finally! Nursing became a pure joy. :) And I've loved attending my local La Leche League meetings. I go to the one in Mountain View, and the group of moms is so awesome. We sit and talk and our babies play. It's such a great support group, and I now recommend the LLL to all expecting moms I know!!
But guess what? It's still not totally perfect. Like I said, she has a shallow latch, and sometimes as she falls asleep she will start to let my nipple slide out of her mouth then quickly try to stop it and she will bite it. And I almost always have to pop her off with my finger, which isn't comfortable. She would happily nurse for hours sometimes. Lately whenever she sees me and remembers I have boobs she asks for milk. It's adorable, but can be very annoying as well! Especially since this is something Pam can not help with. That gets very frustrating for me. And for Pam too.
I love nursing. Even through the painful times, it's so amazing. It makes me feel like the most important person in the world. Giver of life and nutrition! :)
So, breastfeeding. It's super important. And for people who don't? Oh well. Surely they excel in another area of parenting that I fail at! Ok, enough on that.
Car Seat Safety! I love being safe. I love rules, and following directions. I love to plan things out and do things the right way. When I was 13, I was visiting family members and my little cousins weren't buckled into their carseats correctly... and the "older" children weren't even wearing their seat belts. I knew that it was unsafe. I insisted that I had to sit in the chair with the working seat belt. I was laughed at. I'm sure eyes were rolled at the back of my head. But I didn't care at all. When I had my license I made a vow to never drive anyone who wasn't buckled in. I've been known to stop the car and refuse to drive if a passenger doesn't buckle up. And when I lived in NY, I would sit in a taxi and use the seatbelt!! Almost unheard of for most New Yorkers.
Obviously being safe in the car is an issue I care deeply about. Whenever I see kids bouncing around in the back seat of moving cars, or carseats installed the wrong way, or ADULTS HOLDING BABIES IN THEIR ARMS, I want to scream. Twice I've called 911 to report children being left buckled in their carseats, locked in cars outside of Trader Joe's. The first time the police arrived at the car as the mother came out, and the second time (Pam was actually the one who made the call) the mom came out and drove away before the cops got there. I don't care if you just have to run into the store for one thing. Children DIE from being left in a car. I cannot imagine the horror.
Anyway. Back to carseats. The main issue is using them safely. If you don't have the straps adjusted correctly or tight enough, or the chest clip latched at the chest, or a bunch of other things, you are doing it wrong and putting your childs life at risk. And if that seat isn't installed correctly into the car, then it's pointless. It's not just about snapping it into the seat. I was eager to have our appointment at the local car seat installation station. I "passed" with flying colors both times. :) What an honor! 4 out of 5 carseats are installed incorrectly. FOUR out of FIVE!!!! I am beyond proud that I'm one of the few who has my baby safely secured as we drive around. I feel it should be absolutely mandatory to have your carseat checked out by a certified technician before putting a baby in it. And then again to be sure you have accurately strapped the baby in!
And what goes hand in hand with car seat safety?!
Extended Rear Facing! Seriously, this shouldn't even be a phrase. It should be the only option! The guidelines that used to say you could turn your baby facing forward at 1 year and 20 lbs are a load of crap. It's not safe to have babies facing forward. End of story. Every child should be facing backwards until they outgrow their seat limits by height or weight. And car seat manufacturers need to get with the program and only make and sell seats that have high limits!!
But what if the baby doesn't like to be backwards? What if they cry and want to look out of the window? No. Safety first. They probably also don't like it when you don't let them play by the pool by themselves, or play with knives, or eat poisonous things. Makena haaaaaaates riding in the car. She will cry for hours. One of us sits back there with her. She's 14 months old now, and I think Pam and I have sat in the front together less than 10 times. And when she turned 1 year old we put in a portable DVD player to keep her entertained. Something we NEVER thought we'd do! But, you do what you need to do to keep your child safe.
But what if the baby's legs are touching the seat back? Baby looks so smushed back there. Turning them forward would give them more space! Sure. More space to get more injuries in a crash! Your baby doesn't know any better. All they know is that when they are in the car that's where they sit. So your toddler and young child will know the same. Just because YOU think it looks uncomfortable doesn't mean it is. And even if it IS, I'd rather have an uncomfortable child than one in a body cast. Or worse.
Do the right thing for goodness sake. Keep them rear facing as long as possible. Period.
Circumcision.
Why is this a hot button issue?! WHY?! Maybe I'm just lucky that I grew up in a family where penises were left the way god intended. I know that I'm not always the smartest cookie in the jar, but I like to think I have enough of a brain to know that mutilating a newborn babies genitals is never okay. What kind of mother carries her child in her womb, keeping him safe and looking forward to holding him in her arms, then lets him be taken away by strangers to have perfectly healthy skin cut off of his most sensitive body part? A mother who doesn't know better. And ignorance is sweet sweet bliss. But oh, what a horrendous mistake to make. As for the mothers who think they've read all the research and have decided they still feel like inflicting such needless pain upon the child they are supposed to protect? Now that's where the real shame is.
There is no excuse for it. None. More baby boys die from circumcision than SIDS every year. So not only is the procedure risky, but it's completely unnecessary. Some common lame reasons I've heard-
But I want him to look like his father. Wow, really? Does his father have a tiny hairless penis? Your baby girl isn't born with developed breasts, would you like her to get implants?
But the other boys are circumcised and I don't want him to be made fun of. Chances are, the other boys aren't!! Infant circumcision rates are dropping like crazy as more people learn the truth. Most other countries don't do it at all. What a poor excuse. You might as well tell your son when he's older that you valued what others *might* think about him more than his own worth. You are pretty much sending a message of "Your body is disgusting, I want it "fixed" to look like what my idea of a "good penis" looks like before I can love you."
It's a religious tradition. Yeah... it's too bad that you feel like honoring that tradition, when I'm SURE there are others that you let slide without thought. Religious excuses never sit well with me. There's nothing an outdated fiction book can tell me that I'll take seriously enough to go against common sense.
It's my husbands decision. Actually, it's not. It's your sons decision. And if you want to spare him the pain of enduring the procedure as an adult, then THINK ABOUT THAT for a minute. It is even MORE painful when done on an infant. And then you will let them pee and poop where their bloody wound needs to heal. Gross.
Ugh. I feel like there is so much more, obviously. But it takes me so so SO long to type anything, this has been over 2 weeks in the making now, and I'd rather just get back to playing with my little one. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
