Pride Parade, and Makena went to Stanford University!

On June 26th we drove to San Francisco to watch the Gay Pride Parade. As we looked for a place to stand, we decided the street in front of the Orpheum Theater would be appropriate, being as that's the same spot Pam and I met 10 years ago! (almost exactly to the day, what a coincidence!!)
Makena wore her rainbow babylegs and rainbow tutu, and a shirt I made for her. She was quite the attraction, people kept taking pictures of her and one couple even asked to take a picture of our family. lol?
We didn't stay too long, the crowd was rambunctious and there were people smoking everywhere, so we went to the family garden park for some kid-friendly activities! (But not before Pam grabbed a rainbow headband that some promoters were tossing to the crowds) Then Makena looked like she was stuck in an 80's workout video, and it was hilarious. It's worth noting that nobody asked us for any photos once the tutu came off and the headband went on. Super funny!
Didn't want to look at the camera at all, too distracted by all the festivities around her! She played in the playground with all the other gaybies, and then got an "I love my moms" temporary tattoo. I hate when things are spelled wrong on purpose. "Luv" is not cute. "Love" only has one more letter, it didn't have to be shortened! We got some snacks, I got a strawberry and basil organic popsicle, and it was delicious and refreshing on such a hot day in the city! We walked back to the car and I kept giving Makena licks and then we were a block away from the car and I realized Makena had fallen asleep! In her stroller! Without us trying to get her to nap, and mere seconds after I had just given her a lick of my popsicle! It was crazy. She never does that!

And then we made a mistake. Instead of just walking around for an hour, enjoying the city sights, we decided to get her in the car. And she woke up crying for milk. But someone was waiting for our spot and we wanted to just hit the road and hoped she'd fall asleep once the car started moving. Nope, she was awake the whole way home. Only napped for about 4 minutes that day. :(

On Tuesday we went to Stanford University for a research study Makena was selected to participate in. It's about children and empathy, that's all I know. I was instructed to sit and read and try to ignore her while the research student interacted with her. She was trying to be clingy at first, isn't used to not being the center of my attention!! Pam was waiting with the other researchers behind the double mirror/window. After a while Makena started to play with the guy, and he did a little puppet show where the pig was stealing the ball from the lion, and then the puppy was hitting the pig. It was a pretty aggressive move, he was making his hand punch the other hand. Then he offered her each of the puppets and watched for which one she picked. I guess she picked in the typical order, choosing the mean puppy last. Then they played some more and he told me to leave the room when I heard the knock at the door.


She did great, whimpered for a second after I shut the door, but she stayed on the floor playing. It was actually slightly disturbing for me. lol. She did look up at the door a few times, and then I got to go back in after like 5 minutes. She started to ask for milk, and wanted me to pick her up, so they decided to stop the study. But she got a stuffed puppy and I got a $20 gift card for Trader Joe's! The whole thing was really short, about 15 minutes.

I hope they call again, he said it's a study that's been going on for over a year so far and they would be interested in doing some follow ups.

Anyway, Pam's mom is coming this weekend to visit for a week, and we need to get busy cleaning!!

Sesame Street LIVE!

On Tuesday, June 21st we had tickets for Sesame Street Live: Elmo's Healthy Heroes. It was at HP Pavilion, which is very close to our house. We all wore a Sesame Street shirt, and Makena took her Elmo doll with her. We had AMAZING seats, thanks to my mom!!

The show was really cute, I totally cried when Bert and Ernie walked on to the stage to start it and Makena got so excited!!

They even had a few characters come down into the aisles, and that was fun!

Prairie Dawn came past Makena, and so did Grouchetta, but Makena was a little afraid of her. And Kay, the only "human" in the show (and the letter of the day, lol) stopped by to say hello to Makena for a bit, which I happened to get on video. I like how in this photo below you can see my hand holding the Flip video camera. We had an aisle seat, and it was great to let Makena have room to dance!

During intermission GrandMo bought Makena an Elmo balloon, and she also bought her a light up spinning toy. Oh, and also a program book that retells the story and has a poster, AND a cd of the show! Makena is one loved/spoiled little girl!!

She was completely entranced by the show, just starred at the stage the whole time, never once fussed to get down or needed anything to keep her happy. She just soaked up every minute of seeing her favorite show brought to life! We took turns sitting with her on our laps on the aisle seat.
The story was about Super Grover losing his "superness" and he couldn't fly. So Elmo, Telly, Abby and Zoe (and of course Rocco) become super heroes and help save the day. They find out that excercise, eating healthy foods, getting lots of rest and good hygiene can make anybody super. When Grover first tried to fly and fell down Makena said "oh no!" and then when we flew at the end she clapped and was excited. It was so cute how into it she was!

When it was over they shot off a lot of confetti cannons and all the kids were playing with the paper strings. We left and took one more look at the merchandise and some photos, then headed home for nap time!
We feel so thankful that my mom bought us tickets, because we knew Makena would have such an amazing time and there was no way we could justify buying tickets. Even the cheapest ones, at like $20 each, would've cost us $60 plus more for tax and fees.

So a HUGE THANK YOU to Makena's wonderful GrandMo! Makena still loves looking at the program book and saying "oh no!" to the picture of Super Grover. lol.

New shoes, playing in the fountains, 17 months old, and sleep these days!

I wanted to post some pictures and give a little update on this wonderful person! She's growing up so fast, soon she'll be a year and a half!! Every day she's less of a baby and more of a kid. She does more and more and is learning like the little sponge she is! Just this afternoon she helped me make macaroni & cheese. She looked at the box and got the cow milk and butter and cheese that we needed. Well, we didn't need cheese, but she heard me say cheese and insisted on giving me the Parmesan cheese from the fridge. Haha.

We had a heat wave here the last few days, which is not fun. It gets to be over 90 degrees in our apartment. So on Father's day, June 19th, we spent some time at the air conditioned mall and used a gift card to get Makena a new pair of shoes! I know I've never bought a pair of $52 shoes for myself... but it's important to get quality shoes for these early walking years. :)

She's a size 6/6.5 now. Extra wide. The shoe guy (the owner of Howard's Children Shoes in Vallco Mall) took one look at her feet and said they were so wide that we'd probably have a hard time finding shoes to fit them as she grows. Yikes? lol. He also said her toes are a high risk of getting ingrown toenails, and to cut them squared, not rounded. Ok then Mr shoe guy!

It was still hot when we left the mall so we had dinner at Aqui. I'm obsessed with the sampler dish there, the beans and hummus and guac and huge bowl of chips...yummy AND cheap meal! We also split a salad that had apples and walnuts and mango in it. Delicious. Makena is getting harder to take out to eat which sucks. She is starting to hate the highchairs, but won't stay in a booster seat, and just wants to climb and around. She's not much of an eater, so she finishes her food quickly then wants to play.

We went to the park where we saw some splash fountains, and my mom said she saw them turned on the other day. And sure enough the water was on and there was nobody else playing so we had it to ourselves. What a little hidden gem! Makena had a total blast!! Good thing her new shoes are waterproof, because though she was a bit cautious first, she soon became soaked!



The next very hot day was Makena's 17 month birthday! lol. We dropped off Pam at work and went to McKenzie Park in Los Altos for a La Leche League enrichment meeting/park play day! I really like the other moms in that group, I love Monday's when I'm able to make the meetings. It's so nice to connect with other moms who share similar parenting views. And there are 3 other kids who were all born within a week or so of Makena, so that's super cute and fun!


Then I tried to get her to nap in the car but she didn't feel like napping. Making it the 4th day that she's gone without a nap in the past month. On Memorial day last month we went to Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk with my parents and cousin Kevin who was visiting, and Makena didn't nap the entire day. That was the first time, and amazingly she was in a fine mood. Boo to disappearing naps... She did fall asleep the second we started driving home, and of course woke up as we got home and wouldn't fall back to sleep for another hour.

But anyway. So she didn't nap and it was hot in the car. Really hot. Our a/c is broken at the moment and her car seat is black so she was all sweaty. :( We went and got a free cupcake at Sprinkles and then stopped at Starbucks for some free ice water! We needed to kill time before picking up Pam.
She's had a fascination with cups and water since she was a few months old, and she still loves to drink water and play with cups of water! She especially loves transferring water back and forth between cups. And taking straws out. And poking her finger through the straw hole to try and get the ice. lol.

About a week ago we decided to switch up our sleeping arrangements. Again. She's been sleeping between us in bed, on our mattress on the floor, and it usually is fine but was getting cramped and sometimes Pam doesn't sleep well or I feel frustrated that I can't roll over after nursing her without waking her up. And we wanted to clear out space in her room, which I love so much because it's decorated so adorably but the truth is, we need that space for storage. Our rent was raised last month (to $1,295 from $1,199) and we are so totally struggling to pay every single bill. It's been a really rough time. This month marks the one year anniversary since Pam was fired, and every time we think we are starting to do okay with money we get hit with something else. Being a grown up is hard sometimes.

Instead of moving to a smaller crappier apartment in a less desirable area we have made the decision to stop paying our monthly storage unit expense and turn Makena's bedroom into our storage space. I'm selling a lot of her outgrown baby toys and stuff on craigslist, and we moved her crib to make room for all our stuff. So we moved it into our room, and set it up as a side car next to our bed! We also took our box spring out of her room and now have a somewhat normal bed!
It's been working out great, she loves her bed, and starts out the night there and then sometimes in the early morning hours when she wakes I scoot her over to me to nurse and snuggle and sleep longer. The last 2 nights she has slept the entire night through without waking up. She's done this before, plenty of times, but it's always exciting!

The night of the 20th we dressed her in this Elmo onesie to get her excited about the next day, when we had tickets to see Sesame Street Live. I'll post all about that soon!

She tossed and turned all that night, we joked that she was excited about the show.

So, in ending this post, yep, our daughter is pretty darn awesome. Every day just gets better. She's just so overflowing with amazingness.
P.S. She came out of the room with her towel on her head and my sun glasses, and grabbed my keys out of the diaper bag and held them up to the door while saying "Bye!" to me. She is so silly, so sweet, and so the perfect baby for me!

I love her.

10 Things Never to Say, and my responses to them.

This list of things not to say to a mom who stays home has been floating around on a bunch of the mom blogs I read, and I've been wanting to write down my responses. I don't think anyone has ever said any of these to me, but I'm sure they've thought them! And after this list I'm doing the flip side of it, with things not to say to a working mom.

10 Things Never to Say to a Stay-at-Home Mom

1. When the kids are older, do you think you'll get a real job?

A real job as in work full time out of the house? Who knows. When Pam and I wanted to start a family we decided I would get pregnant first and stay home with the baby until school started. Then I'd get a job for the hours the child was in school. Pam also likes to say that when she gets pregnant she'll stay home and do the same, but clearly our plan hasn't worked out because for one, Pam doesn't work full time. It's not like she's out supporting us with a well paying job or benefits, and I get to sit at home all the time. I work part-time as well. So when Makena is in school I will probably work more hours.

2. How June Cleaver of you!

I'm assuming this is about an old TV show? I don't know June Cleaver, but I'm picturing her as a traditional SAHM who cooks and cleans all day long and wears pretty dresses and make up and birds flock to her as she cools off freshly baked pies on the window sill. So....no. I stay home most of the time with Makena but I'm not a domestic goddess. Not even in the slightest!

3. Oh, so you don't work?

It's correct that I don't wake up in the morning, shower, put on nice clothes, leave the house and come home with a 40 hour work week. But I believe that raising children is a full time job, and quite possibly the single most important job there is! I take it seriously, just like I did when I didn't have my own child and worked taking care of others. Like I said before though, I do work very part-time, usually less than 10 hours a week. And luckily Makena either comes with me or she stays home with Pam or they both come with me. What an ideal situation!!

4. Since you have extra time on your hands, could you whip up a few dozen brownies for the bake sale tomorrow?

Yummmm brownies! I think this is implying that since I'm at home and not at an office I have all the time in the world to bake brownies. Man I wish that were true! But I can probably make some brownies if you can drop off the ingredients. Since Pam and I share our car it means I'm usually at home but stuck, not able to drive around and run errands or shop or whatever. But if I was asked in advance I'd absolutely be happy to make brownies.

5. All day with your kids? I can't even imagine.

I won't lie, it's hard sometimes. Especially feeling like I'm deserted at home without the car. So sometimes we arrange for me to drive Pam so I can have the car and do things. Some days are more difficult than others, especially when teething is involved or one of us is in a grumpy mood. And most days by the time Pam comes home I'm ready to scream because I've had a baby attached to my boob all day and I just want a few moments to decompress, which is unfortunately exactly what Pam wants when she gets home. But I honestly can't fathom spending 8 hours a day away from my baby, all week long. I don't like leaving her for even a couple hours! Sometimes I can't wait to run to the grocery store by myself, like I did tonight while Pam bathed her. So to this I say, "All day without your kids? I can't even imagine."

6. I'm jealous. I wish my husband were rich so I wouldn't have to work either.

Hahahahahahahaha! Oh man. I'm definitely envious of couples that don't have to stress out about paying bills and rent each month. I wish we were rich and could have a second car, and live in an apartment with a yard and a/c and a washer and dryer. I wish we had money to get out of debt so the calls from collections agencies would stop. I wish we didn't have to rely on government assistance like WIC and Med-Cal. I wish a lot of things about money. But I wanted a baby more than anything else. Makena is a true dream come true! We made the decision that it's more important to us that our child is raised by her parents than to have someone else raise her. And we made that decision knowing that we'd have to cut corners. A lot of corners. It's a struggle, but I wouldn't change it if that meant I couldn't be home with her!

7. What do you do all day, anyway?

I seriously don't know. Some days are such a blur that I don't know what I've done. Usually I nothing. Except of course raise my child. lol. I don't usually shower, we play with her toys, I make breakfast, I go online while she plays on her own, change diapers, do puzzles, read books, have a snack, nurse, change into clothes, go for a walk to see the ducks at the fountain or play at the park, nurse, put Makena down for a nap, eat lunch, nurse, read more books, usually watch some Sesame Street (especially in the hour before Pam get's home,) have a snack, play with toys, eat dinner, give her a bath, read stories, and put her to bed. You'll notice I didn't say clean the house. Because I don't. I might clean the dishes or do a load of laundry, but I do NOT spend a lot of time cleaning up. I'm usually on the floor with Makena, or we are out, or I'm on the couch nursing her, or I'm on the computer, or laying with her while she naps. Pretty exciting stuff huh!?

8. I'm sure you're not the only one who's ever wasted money on a college degree.

I never got a college degree because being a stay at home mom was the only career I ever wanted. I didn't waste any money at all, and I don't regret it for one second! A college degree would have given me nothing in life. A baby has given me everything.

9. That explains why your son is so clingy!

First of all, I have a daughter. ;) And she isn't clingy at all. She's a happy, friendly, silly, well-adjusted toddler. Is it common for SAHM's to have clingy kids? I haven't heard that before?

10. Weird. I assumed your house would be super clean.

See above. Definitely not super clean. If someone were to stop by unexpected I'd probably have to quickly get dirty clothes off the bathroom floor and pick up piles of junk from the recliner so they'd have a place to sit. I'd throw a sheet over the couch since I wouldn't have time to remove all the cat hair. I'd warn them to not go into the kitchen because the dishes are probably still on the counter from last nights dinner. The recycling bin is overflowing and there's flattened boxes and egg cartons under the table. And the floors all need to be swept and mopped and vacuumed. Are we disgusting slobs? Not at all. But we are cluttered, living in a small space with too much stuff. Neither Pam nor I are neat-freaks, so we let things slide until we feel like cleaning up. I'm always in awe of other SAHM's who have pristine households and meals cooked in time. Sometimes I wish I was that pulled together, but usually this works fine for me!

And now, for the other list! I'll admit I've often wondered some of these.

10 Things Never to Say to a Working Mom

1. It must be hard missing all those special moments every day.

This should seriously go without saying, right? It's only to cause guilt! Of COURSE it's gotta be hard missing all those special moments every day! Or do some people honestly not care? Do some people really enjoy working and think their kids are a pain and are happy to be away from them for so many hours?? I hope not!

2. I suppose it's smart that you're working. You know, in case your husband leaves you some day.

What?! I can't even begin to try and make sense of this.

3. I'm surprised you went back to work. Your husband seems so successful.

I usually AM surprised when moms choose to return to work. It makes me sad that so many do. I wish we were like other countries that allowed moms to stay home with their babies for a year after birth. Plus every mom I know who has gone back to work has either struggled to continue breastfeeding or had to exclusively pump. If only our culture put more of an emphasis on moms focusing on raising their children, and the government supported that.

4. It's cute when they call your nanny "Mama."

Has someone EVER said that before?? Awful. And having worked as a nanny let me say that I would be HORRIFIED.

5. I just love my kids too much to leave them during the day.

I don't think it's a matter of love. Well I guess working moms could say that they love their kids too much to not raise them in a financially stable home. So I guess it just depends on your values. People might think it's foolish of us that we don't have a college savings account for Makena. Or a savings account period. But I come from the thinking point of "What if we never make it to tomorrow? All our planning would've been wasted, and we should have spent more time on what really mattered." I mean, No Day But Today, right? ;)

6. Did you see Dateline? The one with the hidden camera in the day care?

Bad things happen all the time, day care or not. Did you see the 8 car pile up on the freeway? Chances are one of those cars belonged to a SAHM and her kids were in the back.

7. I could never let someone else raise my children. But that's just me!

That's true. I never would choose to have a baby then choose to have someone else raise her. I think the opposite of this is, "I could never raise my child all day long!" which is plain stupid and in that case I'm glad someone else is raising your kids.

8. I hated my mom because she was never home after school like everyone else's mom.

Ahh, but most of the time my mom WAS home after school. :) One of the best lessons I've learned from her is to make it work so you can stay at home and raise your children. It's a wonderful gift!

9. You must feel so guilty.

Yikes. I feel guilty about all sorts of things, but at least I am blessed to be home with Makena. To me there was no other option. I wouldn't have wanted a baby if I couldn't stay home with it. I feel like my purpose and destiny in life was to be a mom. And to me, that means being a full time mom. I wonder if moms who work full time feel guilty, or if they are just so in love with working at their jobs that they don't think about it that way? I know some moms who returned to work after their maternity leave ended, only to cut back their hours and eventually quit their job all together. I know other moms who continue to work full time. I don't know if it's because they feel they have to or because they want to. I guess it doesn't matter. I would imagine they'd feel badly about being away from their children, but maybe they think of it differently? To me, guilt implies you know you are doing something wrong. So I don't think guilty is what they'd feel, because if they did have guilt I'd wonder why on Earth they are still working??

10. I wish I were as laid-back as you and could just let the housework go.

The moms I know who work full time are WAY better about keeping up on housework! I'm in total awe of it.