Sunday, November 24th. Makena and I went to the farmer’s market in the morning and spent an hour walking around buying all sorts of goodies. We got home and she wanted to go to the park, but I told her I was feeling too tired to walk any more. Pam said she’d take her, so they packed some snacks and took their bikes to the park and the library. Around noon when they were gone I started having Braxton Hicks contractions every 10 minutes. They were painless but getting annoying since they weren’t stopping. I’d been feeling Braxton Hicks for months, but these were definitely consistent.
Monday evening, November 25th. All through Monday I felt them as well, still about every 10 minutes. Not a crampy feeling, just the same tightening sensation that made my belly hard as a rock. Didn’t hurt but made me uncomfortable because it was hard to bend/shift. I sent a text to a pregnant friend complaining about how annoying they were. She jokingly suggested I shave my legs. She had shaved her legs the other night and started having contractions, so I followed her advice and then asked her to send some of her contractions my way. I was 6 days past my due date and she was still 6 weeks away from hers! I was worried this baby would be super “late” and end up a December baby. I was also frustrated that I had my 41 week prenatal appointment scheduled for the next afternoon. I totally believe in letting babies pick their own birthdays, and would never induce unless I felt there was a legit medical need. But the thought of being pregnant forever and going weeks past my due date was making me feel anxious. Also, like my last pregnancy, I was doing great and felt fine so I wasn’t physically in a rush to deliver. The mental side of it though is trickier. I was relishing the last few days with Makena as an only child, and at the same time anxious for the new baby to arrive so we could get into our new routine. I kept telling myself that I would go into labor at the right time. That my baby would signal when it was ready and I needed to trust in that. At about 8:30pm I took a photo of my belly and the almost empty plate of pumpkin cream cheese rolls that I had devoured.
I sat down and took a video of the baby moving around inside. I was wondering when on earth labor would start, and looking up natural induction methods. I told myself I wouldn't do anything until I was 2 weeks “over due” Pam and I talked about how convenient it would be for the baby to be born tomorrow. She was about to start a few days off from work due to Thanksgiving, and since she doesn’t get any maternity leave it would be perfect to have the baby when she doesn’t have to be at work. Also Tuesdays are a really tough long day since we share our car, and on Tuesdays she has a full day of work and I would have to drop her off then go in the opposite direction for my appointment then drive back to pick her up, then we rush home so she can drop off Makena and I before heading to her night class.
So I went to bed hoping I’d wake up in the morning in labor and we could skip the whole crazy day and just have this baby already and quit wondering! I thought it would be so perfect if I woke up with contractions after a full night of sleep and then labored throughout the day and had the baby by night time. That way my mom could come over and take Makena out and then if baby would be born around 6pm it wouldn’t disrupt Makena’s bedtime too much. A 10 hour long labor sounded just lovely after my 36 hour labor last time. I went to bed at 10:30pm.
Tuesday November 26th. I suddenly woke up at 1:30am. Makena was stirring next to me in bed. I felt a contraction. I knew right away that it was a real contraction. It was the same hardening and tightness, but accompanied by a crampy achey feeling. I wondered if that had woken me up or if Makena did. She sat up in bed and drowsily asked when it would be morning, I told her to go back to sleep and she plopped down, hitting my lip on her way. It hurt, I sat up in bed and checked to see if my lip was bleeding but it wasn’t. She was asleep already. I felt another contraction. I made myself lay back down. With Makena’s very long labor the biggest thing I remember was how exhausted I was, so this time I wanted to be sleeping as much as possible. I believe that if I had just slept during the early exciting yet not painful stage of her labor I wouldn’t have ended up transferring from the birth center to the hospital due to exhaustion. I assumed I would have another long labor this time, and since we were having a homebirth I really didn’t want to tire myself out needlessly. I made sure to have a doula this time to help with that early labor stage, thinking I’d need as much support as possible to have a successful homebirth. But I couldn’t sleep. I looked at the clock and it was 1:45. I had felt a few contractions and thought it was strange that they were so close together. I decided to get up and take a bath.
I went to the bathroom to empty my bladder and then woke up Pam. I told her I was having contractions and was going to get in the bath and try to rest. She went back to sleep. The bath felt great, like always. I was so excited to have a water birth this time! I had the light down low and tried to close my eyes but I kept feeling contractions and I couldn’t sleep through them. I picked up my phone to see what time it was, and only about 20 minutes had gone by. I got out of the bath and peed again, and this time noticed bloody show! I was glad something was happening! Maybe I was really in labor and the baby would be born today! I knew I needed to get some sleep. I tried to lay on the couch at about 2:30 and tossed and turned for a bit. Sleep wasn’t going to happen. Around 3:30am I got up and had to start leaning over furniture and concentrating through the contractions. They were starting to hurt but were still absolutely manageable.
I decided I’d let Pam sleep until 5am. Meanwhile I was using a website to keep track of how often the contractions were coming and how long they were lasting. I started to see a pattern, they were coming about every 3 minutes and lasting almost a minute. It’s tricky though, timing them, since sometimes I’d hit the button exactly and sometimes I’d have to walk over and hit it. So although they weren’t a definite “4 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute, for over an hour”, I still thought it was pretty close. And they weren’t slowing down and were getting more intense.
I woke up Pam at 5 and told her that I thought it was time to call Rowen (my midwife) and Sahana (my doula) and my mom to give them all a heads up that today was probably the day. I re-read over the notes from Rowen about when to call when labor starts. There was a sentence saying that if you call in the middle of the night don’t apologize for waking her up. So when she answered the phone I said cheerfully, “I’m in labor! I’ve been having contractions since 1:30!” and she said, “You don’t sound like you’re in labor!” I laughed and said that right now I was in between contractions and I was feeling fine. She started asking me some questions, I knew she wanted to hear me while I had contractions. I answered her and said I’d been having painless but consistent Braxton Hicks since Sunday and then started real contractions and they aren’t going away. Then I told her to hold on and breathed through a contraction. I wondered if she was thinking I definitely wasn’t in labor yet, and briefly considered acting like I was worse off. But then the contraction passed and I continued to talk. She said we could start filling the birth pool and gave some more instructions and I didn’t want to deal with that because I was having another contraction so I abruptly told her to talk to Pam. I handed the phone over and started rocking back and forth while leaning over the couch. Pam was in the kitchen and I heard her telling Rowan that my contractions didn’t seem that bad, and that I was managing them okay and they weren’t as intense as last time. I was super annoyed by hearing her tell her that my contractions weren’t that intense, and I told Pam that it sucks to hear her say that.
I kept having more contractions, in between them I was walking around and picking up stuff around the living room. I was really concerned about having a messy cluttered space when the birth team arrived. We have a small apartment and I wanted it to be as open and inviting as possible to maximize my comfort level. When a contraction would hit I had to immediately lean on something (the table, the side of the couch, the recliner, a counter) and rock and sway back and forth until it passed. Then I was able to talk and walk around and be 100% normal again for a bit. Pam said that Rowen was concerned about hitting traffic (she was coming from Santa Cruz about 35 miles away, and that traffic can be horrible.) So she told us to call her back when we noticed a “shift” in the intensity of the contractions. Next Pam called Sahana and told her that I was in labor. She said she had one client that morning (she works as a physical therapist) and that she’d come around 8:30am but to absolutely let her know if we needed her before then.
Then Pam called my mom. My mom’s role was to keep Makena busy and comfortable so Pam and I could focus on labor. I had a whole list of things they could do while waiting for the baby to be born. Makena expressed interest all along that she wanted to be present for the birth, and I wanted her to witness it. We watched lots of videos and talked about birth throughout my whole pregnancy. I felt she was well prepared, but since I assumed it would be a long labor I wanted her to have things to do, like bake a cake, draw a card for the baby, have a picnic, go for a walk, etc. My dad answered and gave the phone to my mom and Pam explained that I was having contractions and we were only calling this early because we weren’t sure if she had to drive my dad to work today. He works very close to where we live, so she said she’d drop him off and come by around 8am. Pam asked her to swing by Jamba Juice to see if they’d give her some of their delicious crushed iced, since we didn’t have much ice in the freezer and I love chewing/sucking on ice and thought I might want some in labor.
We kept picking up around the house, I kept taking breaks to sway and rock my hips about every 3 minutes, and then around 6:30am Makena woke up. Pam went in to get her, poor kid is used to waking up with me next to her, so she came into the living room a bit confused. I gave her a hug and Pam showed her that the birth pool was being filled and said, “Do you know what that means? The baby might be born today!”
I felt hungry and thought I should eat something. Pam put a cinnamon raisin bagel in the toaster and served it to me with cream cheese. I sat down to eat, took a bite and had a contraction, and immediately had to get up. Dealing with that while trying to chew and swallow food was not fun. I lost my appetite completely. I couldn’t sit or be still during a contraction, I had to be on my feet and swaying my hips while leaning my hands on something hard. At one point I walked by the stack of the two totes full of our birth supplies and wasn’t going to make it to the couch so I just pushed down on them during the contraction. My wrists and hands were starting to ache from trying to support myself when I leaned on to things. After each contraction passed I would try to shake out my hands a bit. I was aware of Makena’s presence, she would come over to me and rub my back a little and say “It’s okay Mommy” and then it would be over and I’d smile and thank her. She brought me my cup of water like we had discussed would be a good way for her to help me.
My contractions started to hurt more and take more of my focus. I was leaning on the arm of the couch and suddenly noticed that I could feel the baby moving inside while the contraction was going on. It felt absolutely horrible, a different sort of pain. The baby hadn’t “dropped” during my pregnancy yet, Rowen told me it might not until I was in labor. So I believe that’s what was going on, the baby was making it’s way down and it was not a pleasant sensation at all! (At this point we should have called everyone back to say to hurry up, but I still assumed we had hours upon hours!!)
The next few contractions were extremely difficult. The feeling of the baby moving inside while my uterus was squeezing so hard was so beyond painful. I pictured the baby being squeezed so hard and knew this wasn't fun for either of us. I had to switch my pain management skills because swaying wasn't helping any more. I needed to kind of step my feet as if I was on a stair stepper machine or something, bouncing a bit to help the baby get into whatever position it needed to be in. That back and forth motion of my hips was all that was easing the pain. I was curious to know how dilated I was, I was hoping that all this was doing something.
The birth pool was still filling up but I wanted to get in the water, so I took another bath and it helped a little with the pain but I wanted more water to submerge in. I went into the bedroom to dry off and called Pam in to help me during another really hard contraction. I asked her to try pushing on my hips/back but quickly told her to stop because it was making it worse to be touched. I think this was the first time I started to moan and say “Ohhhhhhhh…” in my head I was thinking “OPEN!” but “Oh” is all that was coming out. Pam went into the kitchen to finish doing the dishes and clean up some more. I kept calling her back over to be with me. I was half glad she was cleaning up, and half annoyed that she kept leaving.
We don’t remember what Makena was doing during this time, but we assume she was watching TV in the living room. I was kneeling/leaning onto the side of the bed because my arms and wrists were so tired, and I was trying really hard to remember that each contraction was just a minute and it’d be over soon. The pain at the height of the contractions was getting to be excruciating. I said I was ready to get in the birth pool around 7:30 and it was finally filled to the recommended water level line so in I went. I had bought a super comfortable nursing bra and dyed it purple, thinking I'd wear it while laboring so that all the photos of me in labor that I imagined being taken would be somewhat less naked. I know I thought about the bra but nobody had come over yet and I'm not a modest person anyways, and in the moment I just didn't want to bother asking Pam to go find it.
The water felt amazing, it was hot and covered me completely when I sunk down to the bottom. I liked how the soft squishy inflated bottom of the pool felt. It was like a little nest or cocoon. I was excited to spend time in there and wondered what we’d do to keep the water hot enough because I figured I’d stay in for a couple hours at least!! Relief was short lived though, I had to get up on all fours and rest my head on the edge of the pool. Then I needed to hang over the side of the pool. Pam was trying to get Makena dressed, we knew my mom would be arriving any minute and we wanted Makena to be ready so they could go for a walk and get some breakfast or something. Every time Pam moved away from me I called her back almost immediately. I just needed her to be there. These contractions had me moaning loudly and saying “OWWW OWWW!!” which I tried to consciously turn into “Oh!” instead. I think at one point I said “Oh god, this sucks!” I still thought we had hours to go.
The contractions weren’t giving me those nice breaks any more. Makena started to get upset that she couldn’t get her shirt on by herself like she wanted. She was standing by the recliner near the birth pool and having a fit. I briefly wondered why Pam picked out those striped pants for Makena to wear. Pam was trying to help her get her shirt on (a mere 4 feet away from where I was) but I was saying I needed her with me. At one point Pam threw her hands up in frustration saying how ridiculous this was. It was absolutely ridiculous, we wondered where my mom was. We thought she’d be there any second and take Makena out so Pam and I could concentrate on getting me through these contractions. It still didn’t hit us that I was so close to the end!!
All of a sudden a super strong contraction came and with it I found myself bearing down uncontrollably. Then it happened again. I wasn’t feeling the contractions anymore, just this insane bearing down. I thought of all the birth stories I’ve read and wondered if this was a red flag that the baby was coming. I reached my hand down to check, but there was nothing there. And then there was a break, but I felt my body shake and had an urge that I was about to throw up. More red flags. I felt myself bearing down again.
I told Pam to call Rowen and tell her I was feeling pushy. I didn’t actually feel like I wanted or needed to push, but my body was doing it on it’s own. It was 7:53. I heard Pam talking to Rowen, and then it hit me, I knew with absolute clarity that I was in transition. (Rowen, bless her heart, was already driving. She said she decided to head out and that she would at least come closer and maybe wait at her office until she heard back from us. Thank goodness she left her house when she did! Unfortunately she was stuck in traffic though, but she was close, much closer than if she hadn’t left when she did!) I wanted Pam to relay just how serious I was, so I told her “Transition, tell her I’m in transition” and then I was hit with another urge to push and my body beared down on it’s own. Pam hung up with Rowen who said if the baby started to come to call back and she’d talk her through it. I assume this is when Rowen called Hope, her assistant who lived closer to us. (Hope’s a full licensed midwife herself, they just assist each other’s clients births.) She told me later that when she heard me in the background having those contractions she knew the baby would be born soon.
Then I suddenly wanted to get out of the pool and sit on the toilet. In my mind I thought I just had to go to the bathroom and then I could go back to laboring. (Hindsight is 20/20!! I never ever should’ve left that pool! Even though I knew for certain that I was in transition I seriously didn't think the baby would be born soon. I mean, nobody was even there yet! It couldn't be time.) Pam wondered how on earth to get me from the pool to the toilet in the state I was in. But I was determined to get to the bathroom. When a contraction passed I stood up and got out and walked the short distance to our tiny bathroom and sat on the toilet.
We heard a knock on the door. Pam called for Makena to answer it but she wanted to do her little game of hiding whenever someone comes over, so Pam ran to the door and let my mom in then ran back to me. I heard my mom enter and heard her and Makena talking. Pam asked if I wanted the bathroom door closed. (From our living room couch you can see the toilet.) I said “Sure, a little at least” and Pam closed the door a bit.
With the next contraction I let out some loud moans and had another very intense sensation of uncontrollable bearing down, and this time I could feel a huge bulging at my perineum. I reached down and it felt like a grapefruit sized ball was about break right through. I told Pam, “Either this is the biggest poop ever or the baby is coming out.” I knew it was the baby’s head, I could feel the hard roundness of it. There was no panic or fear, it was more of a surprised ‘holy crap I can’t believe this is happening right now’ atmosphere! It was totally surreal, I knew what was going on, what was about to happen, but my mind wasn't processing it completely! Was I really about to give birth?! Like, right now?! Pam looked between my legs and I felt the baby’s head duck down and slide forward and when I reached my hand down again I could feel the top of the baby’s head up to her forehead sticking out. There was no pain at all! It was very calm. This baby was coming out on it's own!
Pam went into the living room, told my mom we needed her, grabbed my phone and dialed Rowen. It was 8:21. She called my mom over, handed her the phone and said to call the midwife because the baby was coming. Then she came back into the bathroom. I was holding my hand against the baby’s head, I didn’t want it to drop into the toilet. I scooted forward and was just sitting on the front of the toilet seat. I was so shocked that this was really happening! I wondered if I should get back into the birth pool but realized there wouldn’t be time and was sure that if I moved the baby would come flying out. I heard someone tell me to get off the toilet and on my knees, so I got down and Pam sat behind me and with the next contraction my body pushed the baby out! I didn’t feel any ring of fire or burning or anything, the baby was just out and I didn’t even do any pushing! (Such an insanely different experience from the 2+ hours of pushing I did to get Makena out!!!!) I definitely felt myself bearing down but I wasn’t doing it on purpose. I had no control, but I didn't once feel out of control. I'm so thankful for my knowledge and belief in natural birth! It just happened so fast and easily! How lucky is that?!
Pam caught the baby and unwrapped the cord from it’s neck, then I turned and sat down and lifted the baby to my chest. It was 8:23am, and I had just given birth on the bathroom floor by ourselves.
She was so purpley grey when she came out, and when I held her floppy discolored body I felt nervous for the first time. The worry crept in, was she born so quickly because something was wrong?? She was covered in slippery white red and brown slime- a mix of vernix, blood, and meconium. I started to rub and pat her back and she let out a little gurgly cry and started to turn pink. That’s when I knew she was okay. I was in total shock. I just had the baby! The baby was just born! WHAT?!
My mom turned around and told Makena (who was sitting just several feet away on the couch) to come over, she walked in and put her hand on my back and took a look at her new baby sister. We double checked that it was indeed a girl! In all the preparations we did to get Makena comfortable with being involved with the birth, I never thought to discuss the baby might be born before the midwife arrived.
When I asked her a few days later about the birth she said, "I was sitting on the couch and thought you were going poop but then the baby came out! And Grandmo was standing in the doorway taking photos and I heard the baby cry and walked over to see."
I walked in and it was so quiet. Makena was sitting on the couch and Pam let me in and ran into you. I did not know you were in the bathroom. I sat down with Makena and asked her if she was ok. She said yes. I said, “Wow, Mommy is having the baby.” I was there for maybe 2 minutes before Pam said excitedly, “Mo, I need you right now! Call the midwife and tell her the baby is crowning.” (She then handed me the phone) I said, I don't see anything but a blank screen? Then I heard a Hello?
Me: Hello, this is Katy's Mom, the baby is coming out.
MW: Did you say the baby was coming out?
Me: Halfway sitting on the toilet. (Katy says in the background, “Mom get your camera”)
MW: Ok tell Katy to get on her knees or on one knee but get off the toilet. (I start taking photos)
MW: How does she look? What is her coloring?
Me: She looks a little blue.
MW: Is she breathing. (We hear the baby make a noise).
Me: Yes, she is breathing. Her eyes are open and her mouth is open.
Makena is still sitting quietly on the couch reading a book. Pam is working on the baby, you ask her to give her to you. Pam says wait the umbilical cord and you adjust it and hold the baby. You are asking if she is ok and then we hear a little cry. I think this is about the time the first midwife arrived.
I passed the baby over to Pam and then told her to take off her shirt so the baby could be skin to skin. Pam took off her shirt and was holding the baby when Hope walked in, at about 8:35am. She asked where Rowen was. We pointed to the phone and laughed. She told me to do something and when I moved to do it she was like, "Oh! Wrong mom!" When she saw Pam shirtless holding the baby she thought for a second that she was the one who had given birth, which had us all laughing. Then Sahana was at the doorway. What a shock to arrive ready to support a laboring mom only to realize the baby had already been born!! I'm so glad that my mom walked in when she did, and that I thought to tell her to take photos. We snapped some more photos, I love how the joy/bewilderment of the moment was captured. All we kept saying was "Oh my god, I can't believe that just happened!" It was so beyond awesome.
Everyone helped me walk to the bedroom and I got on the bed and delivered the placenta at about 8:46 while Pam was holding the baby. Then she was placed on my chest and started nursing for the first time at 8:50.
A few minutes later Rowen arrived. I was examined and found to have no tears, yay! Just two tiny skid mark abrasions that didn't need stitches. My bleeding was checked, and she and Hope exchanged some looks. I was losing a bit more blood then they wanted to see, so they gave me some herbs, Yunnan Baiyao and anti-hemorrhage tincture stuff. It tasted like dirt, but I swallowed it all down.
Notes were being written and the midwives were talking trying to figure out baby's APGAR scores (they went with 9 and 10 after reviewing photos, lol) and writing down the details of the birth. Me, Pam, Makena and baby were just in the bed. The baby was nursing and we were busy marveling over her perfection and still in shock that she was really here.
At 10am we decided it was time to cut the cord. Up until then the placenta had been wrapped in a chux pad siting in a gallon sized ziplock bag. Makena wanted to cut it and she was excited about the special scissors. She tried for a while to make the cut but it must have been too tough for her to do because both Pam and Rowen helped her with the final squeeze. Then the baby was measured and had her whole newborn exam, right there on the bed with us. I had a set of sheets ready that I imagined we'd make the bed up with so they'd look nice in photos. Cheap old sheets that I didn't mind throwing away afterwards. But the sheet that happened to be on the bed was my parents old outer space sheet, lol.
We were totally surprised when the baby weighed in at 10lbs 6oz! (Makena was 11 days “late” and 9lbs 3oz and we thought that was big! This baby was exactly 7 days "late.") The baby’s length was 21.5 inches and her head circumference was 14.5. Apparently I grow huge babies even though I carry them small! The baby came out so quickly that her head didn’t have any cone shape to it at all, but she had slight overriding sutures that cleared up the next day.
Then Makena asked to hold the baby, and my heart swelled. Finally, the moment I'd been waiting for. The gift of a sibling.
Then things get a little fuzzy in my memory. The midwives were finishing their paperwork and told us they were going to give us some time alone while they went to clean up the bathroom and drain the birth pool and all that. My mom took Makena to get some food around noon. Sahana left sometime in there too. Pam and I decided it was finally time to name the baby. We tossed around a few different names that we’d discussed and wanted to wait for Makena to come home so we could decide all together. I kept looking at the clock in awe. "Omg, it's 11am and we already had the baby!" "Whoa, it's not even 1pm and the baby is here!" Processing such a quick labor and an unassisted birth has been such a mind-trip. (The photos and writing it all out really help!!)
Makena and my mom got back home around 3:30pm and they had bought some balloons. We had some time alone as a family and decided on the name Hadley Dakota. Hadley because we were having a hard time coming up with an equally unique and pretty name as Makena, and I had so many restrictions. I didn't want another M name, or a name ending in A. We liked the name Dakota but it's a bit more popular than I wanted and I hated how Makena and Dakota sounded together. But we love the meaning of Dakota- "friend/ally" and what a better name for a sibling (and just a person in general!) Hadley means from the heather field, and I like the tie in to nature. Plus I just think it's a cute name for a cute baby!
I took an herbal bath and Hadley and Makena joined me. I didn't want to wash the baby so early but she had meconium all over and I figured a nice warm bath with mommy was better than a bunch of wipes.
My mom went to pick up my dad from work at 4pm, they swung by for my dad to see the baby and then she took him home. She was going to go to the grocery store and come back for dinner. When we were alone with just the four of us (we have a family of 4 now!!) I got out the special gifts to exchange. Makena had picked out a little doll/blanket to give the baby, and the baby picked out a little bath tub tea party set for Makena. Then there was a gift from me to Makena, a necklace I had custom made that has a purple jewel bead and a stamped silver disc with 2 interlocked hearts and the word ALWAYS on it. I told her (through teary eyes of course) that it's a special necklace for her because I will always love her and we'll always have our hearts connected no matter what. She loved it and put it on right away.
My mom came back over and brought my requested ravioli and made me that and garlic bread for dinner, served in bed. Delicious! My sister came over around 6:30 and then my mom took Makena across the street to buy an ice cream cake. Then we sang Happy Birthday to Hadley, and my mom and sister left.
Hadley was sleeping in Pam’s arms so I lay down with Makena in our bed like usual and she fell asleep. The plan was for her and Pam to sleep on the pull out couch bed, but Makena didn’t like that idea and since the baby was asleep I figured I could try to stick to the normal routine anyway. Pam joined her in bed later and me and Hadley slept on the couch bed.
And that ends the story of Hadley’s very exciting birth day! Up next, adventures in parenting TWO!
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