Natural Parenting Failures

I didn't set out to be a natural parent. Actually I never gave much though to my parenting style until I started living it! When I was sitting with my newborn little Makena I read Dr. Sears book on Attachment Parenting. I realized that's exactly what I wanted/planned to do. I didn't realize it had an official name! I've always been a little crunchy, leaning towards very crunchy in some areas, but it was never "on purpose." But since having Makena (and even while still pregnant I suppose) I've leaned more towards the natural way of parenting.

Obviously, sometimes I fail miserably. Lifestyle changes are hard. And getting used to an entire new lifestyle, one that revolves completely around a baby, can be a huge wake up call. I feel like my life is now a continual journey to better myself as a parent and person. So here are 3 things that I suck at.*

I'm writing this so I have a reminder of the areas I want to improve in. Maybe I'll look back on this one day, or Makena will read this one day, and realize I've done even better than I hoped to do. :)

1. I wanted to use cloth diapers before I even had a baby. It was never a question in my mind. When I was pregnant I started to actually research them, and it was incredibly overwhelming. I was given a lot of diapers from friends, some used, some brand new. I also was approved for a cloth diaper loan program. I found some more diapers for very cheap or even free online with craigslist or freecycle. And I slowly started to build my stash! I didn't plan to use them 100% of the time, actually I didn't think at all about how much I wanted to use them, just that I did. I had 2 cloth diapers with me in our hospital bag, but Makena was wearing the hospital provided Pamper Swaddlers for her first few days of life, and we continued using them at home. They are easier, what can I say.

We live in an apartment and have to use a coin operated washer/dryer downstairs, so we don't do laundry every day. Heck some weeks go by without us doing a single load of laundry. (Our bedroom right now is being overcome by piles of dirty clothes...) Usually it's pure laziness. Sometimes it's because we don't have the time to start and finish a load. Sometimes it's frustration because the machines are out of order. And sometimes we just don't have quarters.

I quickly learned that when using cloth diapers (first they need to be prepped, which is a LOT of annoying wasted laundering if you ask me) it's only beneficial for me if I use enough to warrant washing an entire load. I decided to have her in cloth part-time. I picked 3 days that worked best for our schedule, and during those days she wore cloth, and I'd wash the diaper laundry on the 4th day. But it wasn't every single week, and it wasn't always the same 3 days. With shifting work schedules sometimes a month would go by with her in only disposables. Around the time she turned 1 we had a couple of boxes of 'sposies in her size, so we used them all. And then bought another box because they were on sale and I used a coupon and got them for like $7.

And now she's usually only in 'sposies. I'm not happy about that, but it's the truth. I try to make a plan to use cloth only for a few days, but it doesn't always happen. If we had our own washer and dryer I know for a fact that I'd use them more! I'd do more laundry period if we had a W/D. But as it stands, her dirty (yet beautiful!) cloth diapers just can't handle sitting in the wetbag for weeks at a time. I wish I could get my butt in gear and ONLY have the cloth diapers in the house, so we are forced to use them and wash them in a timely matter. But I also wish I cooked all our meals from fresh healthy ingredients. Which brings me to...


2. Before we had Makena, Pam and I swore we'd eat better while raising a family. It's the smartest thing to do health wise, but also financially! We still find ourselves eating out or grabbing quick meals and snacks while out and about. This is a huge problem of mine, because I am SUCH a picky eater and when I'm hungry I'm in an awful mood. Often we will spend money on food just to make our day go easier, since my hungry grumpy mood can really ruin a fun day. I love grocery shopping, and I love looking up recipes and making new foods. I had assumed I'd be the kind of stay at home mom who has a delicious home cooked dinner on the table each night. But it just doesn't happen. It's rare that we have a good fully balanced meal at home.

Thankfully, Makena eats pretty awesomely, but the point is that our whole family should eat well. I blame money. I don't like so many foods that it's hard for me to justify spending money on new things only to not like eating them. I wish I could branch out more. I don't want to fail Makena in that department. And unfortunately a lot of the healthiest options are the most expensive. Another problem is that we don't do well with budgeting out our money for groceries, or buy for specific meals. And even when we do, we don't usually end up sticking to that plan. I want to bake fresh bread; have meals frozen in the freezer for nights we don't feel like cooking; have a bowl of fruit on the table that gets eaten before it turns rotten and our kitchen is filled with fruit flies. I want to eat/use leftovers instead of finding them 3 months later in the back of the fridge when they are moldy. And I want to sit down as a family every single night for dinner. It's what we did in my home growing up, and it's something I find extremely important.

3. I don't/didn't wear Makena as often as I wanted to. Babywearing is one of the oldest concepts of all time. It's only natural to have your baby in your arms. We are fortunate enough to have an Ergo baby carrier, and it's like pure gold. We've definitely gotten enough use out of it to make it worth the hefty price tag (which I thankfully got on sale!) but sometimes days (or even weeks) would go by without me wearing Makena. I just didn't have much of a need to, I guess. She was a happy baby, content to lay or sit on the floor playing. And we use a car to travel around town. I got the most use of it when I'd bring her to work with me and try to get her to nap in there while out on a walk, since she wasn't a stroller sleeping baby. I also used to put her in there to do laundry, or just take a short walk in the neighborhood for some what I would call "air and wear" time. I think baby #2, whenever that may be, will be worn more often for sure. :)


*I know there are more, but those are probably the 3 biggest things that stick out. Now I want to think of all the things I do awesomely well. lol.