Reflections of 2010

Last year at this time we were counting down the last few hours until we could shout Happy New Year! We were so excited for 2010. Our baby was going to be born. We were so ready for her.

Right now she's 11 months and 11 days old, and sleeping happily in bed.

This year has not been everything I dreamed it would be. It's been the hardest year of my life. Even thinking about it is overwhelmingly exhausting.

But 2010 brought me the baby I longed for, and she's absolutely amazing in every way, and that in itself is enough to make it a great year. :) We say all the time "Look at our baby, she's even more than we ever imagined she'd be!"

Looking back...

In January, after many days of waiting, Makena was finally born. The first few days home with her were a complete whirlwind of bliss. She was a wonderfully easy newborn, bless her heart for letting us sleep and hardly ever making a peep!! It was quite possibly the truest honeymoon period I've ever experienced. It was so exactly perfect. I totally had the hang of everything. All my years of childcare work had paid off. Being with my own baby all day was a very enjoyable piece of cake. February was when things started to get hard. Pam went back to work after only having 2 weeks off. I was alone with the baby all day long, enjoying long naps together but it was tough to get anything done around the house. I spent hours upon hours sitting on the couch watching tv and nursing/holding the sleeping baby. I hardly ate, even getting up to grab myself lunch took too much effort most of the time. Forget about doing the laundry.

During March and April at least I was leaving the house twice a week, even if it was to go to work. I took Makena with me, and I was (and still am!!) so incredibly lucky to have a job where I can bring her along. But it wasn't always easy! In fact, it mostly wasn't easy at all. 3 kids under the age of 2! Thank goodness they were all such great kids! The days I spent at home I mostly took cheesy photos of Makena, lol...

In April and May the transition and readjusting period was over and finally things were looking pretty good again. In May we went to Disneyland for Pam's birthday. We had so much fun! Pam would take Makena out on walks to give me a little break in the house by myself, and they always came back with a flower for me.

June. Oh, June. Pam lost her job. Suddenly we were almost completely income-less. And then I had 6 weeks off because the family I work with went on vacation. Thankfully, they continued to semi-pay me to semi-house sit. lol. We never have much money to begin with, so without Pam's paycheck we were quickly spiraling downhill. And we had just purchased plane tickets to Denver, CO. We went on the trip anyway. Makena got to meet Pam's mom, brother, and friends. And we went to a wedding! We really like Denver and I'd totally live there some day.

July was hot, as always I suppose. We drove to Fresno to visit baby Kansas and her moms and play in the pool. We went to the park a lot. We tried to get out of the house any way possible because our apartment became an oven in the heat.

Makena also took swim classes in July. We had registered for the class long before Pam lost her job. Makena was only 6 months old, and the youngest baby in the class. She loved/loves the water!


In August we left Makena with a babysitter for the first time. Meaning Pam and I were alone together for the first time in almost 7 months. The importance of taking date nights can't be stressed enough!! That night was the first time we had even both sat in the front seat of the car together. And I think we even held hands! It's amazing (and amazingly sad) how quickly "we" became Makena's moms. Instead of our worlds revolving around each other, Makena took all our attention. While I wouldn't go back and change a thing by leaving Makena more often, I do definitely wish Pam and I had made more time to reconnect and focus on us a little. We had a great time at the concert, but I missed Makena so much that it was almost hard to simply enjoy each others company.
August was also my birthday, and we spent a lot of time that month outdoors.


September brought cooler temps, finally. Pam got a job at the end of August working as a preschool aide, and she was still supplementing her income with soccer classes. We started to slooooowly get back on track financially. On Saturdays while Pam taught her soccer classes Makena and I walked to the Farmer's Market and people watched and enjoyed the free music.


October. Pumpkins and Halloween.

November had Thanksgiving, but we had a baby who seemed sick and not able to ever fully get rid of her colds. She spent a lot of time in her jammies watching Sesame Street. When did we become those parents who sat their kid in front of the TV?! Oh well. I love Sesame Street so much.


We'd been waiting for December. We got a tree and decorated the house. Wrapped presents. Listened to Christmas music. And we went on more walks of course!

And we had these beautiful cards made to send out, from a photo session we had done:

Makena met Santa. She didn't cry, but didn't smile either. They took this photo, and then we tried to get a smile out of her and she started crying. But she was happy when Santa gave her a little reindeer toy as we walked away. :)

On Christmas morning we helped her open her presents.

The Sesame Street stuffed animals were the hugest hit.


But this, is by far, the best part of everything that 2010 brought-

I cherish my nursing sessions with Makena. She tugs at my shirt now when she wants to nurse, and can even kinda sign "milk." She still fidgets constantly while nursing, rubbing her hand over my arm, pinching my neck, grabbing at my mouth, kicking her feet up, etc...

I love breastfeeding. I love how much she enjoys it, and I love the closeness it creates. It's a little break to sit and relax and comfort each other.