My favorite things about Makena right now.

I love that she always pulls her pants and undies back down under her belly button if we've pulled them on too high.

I love how she says "Hey! I have an idea!"

I love her enthusiasm.

I love when I can tell she's feeling upset about something and is about to cry, and she will sometimes come to me for a cuddle or walk into the other room to pout.

"Baby dabuga in the deep boo sea..."

How she pronounces milk when she's sleepy or asking at 5 am- "Meealk"

I love when I tell her that I love her as she's nursing and she pops off just to say she loves me too.

I love when she initiates a really good hug.

She comes up with soulutions on her own. The other day she was devastated that she didn't get to blow a kiss to Pam as she left the car and went to work. She cried and cried as I tried to call Pam and text her, but she didn't hear the phone and we had to head to school. About halfway there she stopped crying and said, "how about I blow YOU a kiss instead?" And she blew one into her mirror and I grabbed it from my mirror as I was driving.

I love how her voice gets all sweet and high pitched and smiley when I ask her if she can say something again in a kinder way.

She used to say "bay-bay" for band-aid, but now she says "ban-ban." I like them both equally!

When we get on the highway where there is a big loop entrance she always says, "Whoa! We're goin' in a BIG CIRCLE!"

And she raises her hands like we're on a rollercoaster when driving up and down overpasses. "Wheeee!"

She says that cars have rainbows when she sees the half circle shape rear windshield wipers make on a dusty car.

And she's always asking for street names and wondering if we're on a highway... and if so she'll say she wants to go on the low-way.

She's just super funny, she says stuff all day long that makes me laugh!

This list could go on and on forever. Days have been tough lately, age 3 is super hard for all of us. She's so independent yet so needy. She went from playing well by herself to wanting interaction constantly. She's been speaking angrily and demanding all sorts of stuff. It's exhausting and some days I count down the minutes until 7pm/bedtime. We been watching a lot of TV lately, just because I need breaks for my sanity. Also I'm trying not to have her nurse as often so we compromise on watching TV. But despite how long the days are seeming, I'm still deeply in love with my sweet caring smart beautiful girl. And I'm still troubled with the same worries as always. I worry she'll get hurt, I'm worried I'll get hurt. I'm worried we'll be separated somehow and she'll forget about me. My love for her is so overwhelming and all encompassing at times that I feel I'm going to drown it in, like it's not fair that so much wonderfulness is in my life. It's like things are too good that tragedy just ought to strike any minute. I worry that I love her SO MUCH that I can't possibly be so lucky that I'll get to keep her. I don't even think that makes sense, if anyone else told me they felt that way I'd think they just needed to stop watching Lifetime movies, but it's how I really feel sometimes!