Ending the chapter in this apartment

I'm nostalgic. I really love memories. As much as I love new adventures, I have a hard time closing chapters in my life.

Tonight is our last night in this apartment. We moved here in October of 2009. I was pregnant, in my last trimester, and so very excited to get started on the nursery.

I love this apartment. I was so excited when I saw the ad on craigslist. I remember walking in the door and knowing I wanted it, then worrying that we wouldn't be approved. I was so happy when it was ours, and I went to work turning it into a home. Pam and I decorated the nursery. We put together the crib. Applied the wall paper border. Painted the fan blades to match the theme of the bedding set. Hung the curtain, mirror, and all those adorable little baby dresses. I cleaned the hand me down glider chair. I sat and rocked my big belly and tried to imagine rocking my baby to sleep. Laying her down in the crib. Peeking in the door to glance at her. I imagined her learning her animals and colors in that room.

I never imagined that we'd live here forever. I moved around a lot growing up, so did Pam. By the time I was 22 I had lived in like 20 different places. I've never imagined owning a house. (Not in this area at least!) But I thought we'd stay here for a few years. We like the neighborhood. (Mostly... There are some ghetto-ish areas in one direction, but we mostly only go the other way.) We love the nearby park, and the playground where Makena first played in the sand. Where she first went down a slide,  honed her climbing skills, and swung in the swings. I loved the Saturday farmers market tradition that Makena and I started when Pam was busy with soccer classes. We took lots and lots of walks. We saw the ducks in the fountains at the civic center. The same civic center where I walked and walked to try and induce my labor.

Sentimental much??

I've really loved living here. But our rent got more and more expensive. Then they raised the price of the coin washers and dryers. Then they started making us pay for water/trash. We knew we had to find a cheaper apartment. The one bedrooms in our complex were renting for more than what we were paying for our 2 bedroom. And we didn't even use that second bedroom. It was pretty much our storage space. Makena never slept in that adorable nursery by herself. Except for several weeks where we all slept on a mattress on the floor of that room, that room was largely unused.

I'd browse apartment listings occasionally, but it was frustrating. We couldn't afford more than $1200 a month, and anything nice in this area was going for upwards of $1500. And even then they didn't have any outdoor access other than a balcony or tiny patio. They didn't have dishwashers, something I've become accustomed to and thoroughly enjoyed. And I couldn't find anything with a private washer/dryer. There ate lots of sketchy cheaper areas around, but we wanted to stay in a safe neighborhood. And we wanted to be closer to our jobs, but unfortunately the rents only got more expensive as we looked in those neighborhoods.

But, what's done is done and we're moving tomorrow. It's not my dream apartment. It's not even close. The kitchen is tiny and old. It's one bedroom and smaller, but it is a tad cheaper. It took a lot of convincing for me to feel like it was a good choice. I'm still not 100% sold, but I am excited. The new carpet, paint, and lineoleum look great. It's only 5 miles to Pam's job, 3 to mine. It's in a pretty good neighborhood, though there's a bar up the street that worries me. It's across the street from a park, and a short walk to a playground and the library and all the goodies that downtown has to offer. And it has a great outdoor space for Makena. I've already bought her a little table and a slide and sandbox. So, yes. I'm excited. It's always exciting to start a new chapter.

I'm sad to say goodbye to this place, this apartment where we came home when Makena was born. Her first home. She learned to walk on these floors. I'm feeling super nostalgic. As we took down the wall paper border it all cake back to me- all those moments that I imagined would happen in that room. Most of them never happened, but so many other wonderful things did happen, things I never thought to imagine.

And I suppose that's what life does. It makes new memories all the time, regardless of what you imagine they'll be like.